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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1033
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (914)
Archives
- June 2019
1966 and 50 years later; or 50 years to late?
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 4:29 am
Coping with what has happened to me in this life
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 1:43 am
Visualizations
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 9:27 pm
Talents and development
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 12:39 pm
Money and women
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 12:19 pm
women and shame
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 5:53 am
Music creating; blocked
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 1:46 am
Im getting very close
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 1:25 am
Its hard when you were never loved.
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 5:29 pm
Things are changing
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 6:08 am
Cant finish anything I start; cant get started
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 3:36 am
Social isolation; social uphill climb
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 2:25 am
Feeling better inside
   Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:28 pm
Money
   Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:38 am
An interest in the arts
   Tue Jun 18, 2019 9:39 am
Social
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:32 pm
intimacy 2
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 4:02 pm
intimacy
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:51 am
Identity overwhelmed
   Sun Jun 16, 2019 10:22 am
re changing the present
   Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:45 pm
Working out of it; the struggle continues
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 4:14 pm
A new segment of life
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:07 am
dealing with life from zero to 18
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 8:13 pm
Connecting to things in the real world
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:53 am
Things are changing
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 4:43 am
I have to believe more
   Sat Jun 08, 2019 10:24 pm
liking myself and dating
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 8:46 pm
Dissociation
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 4:58 pm
Love
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:05 pm
Purpose
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 7:27 pm
Happiness
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:04 am
bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 8:03 pm
Bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 5:57 am
Childhood reconnection;
   Sat Jun 01, 2019 4:26 pm

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Looking to bust through dissociative order

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Tue Jun 12, 2018 4:22 pm

Im talking more about what happened to me when young in groups; but its not enough to talk to women; Im still scared; I need the right women round me. I will ask God to bring the right people around me so I feel safe! I need nurturing women figures around me! Im not sure where to find them; I have to ask God to bring some to me! align with me on it! I need to use them as segregate mothers; so I can feel loved again!
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Im trying to work through the past! Its hard facing things that shut me down emotionally and mentally!
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I was thrown away when way to young to be able to deal with it! it shocked me and I never saw it coming; and that was the thrill and creation of the sociopaths; to use children then throw them away!
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Here I am; trying to let go of dis connection with the world; but Im not in the right environment to re connect! its to much for me! I have to work with God to be at the right places for connection again!
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I must grow again before I can have girlfriends; I have to get back the ability to be emotional again! to feel again and be present again! I must be these things to be with the right women and not the wrong ones! Something like that!
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Im working on positive feelings! and positive feelings toward women! its hard; very hard; I feel like Im going to be judged no matter what I do!
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I have to have a positie out look on things! This is so very hard! its crazy!
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Im trying to get a hold of my thinking and send it in a direction that I want! It seems truly hard; Im working on it!
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Im afraid of being laughed at by women! Im not sure where this came from; I have an idea its from my teenage years and before where their was no development!
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I need new people to associate with!
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I need better women associate with! Women that see my value!
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My goal is to face the losses of my childhood; accept them and what happened and move on! The problem is dissociation!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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