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Consumer 6
Consumer 6
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1025)
- November 2019
Social skills improving
   Thu Nov 07, 2019 12:51 am
My goal is to work through adolescence.
   Fri Nov 01, 2019 9:16 pm

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Lonely and still here

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Tue Jun 25, 2019 11:32 am

No connection; it continues; Im looking for utopia; maybe its in money; having money and good friends; but even the rich complain about being alone.
Im not doing what I want to do or like to do; if I had it my way; Id be gone from this planet and the corruption and the 2 faced horrible horrifying people; its unbelievable to me.
Ive been mentally ill and made mistakes; but I tried to go back the best I could and fix it; I tried to be friends with people who didn't want me. I never knew their was anything wrong with me; their was nothing wrong with me in the idea of being friends with me; nothing. Still nothing wrong with me as for being friends with me.
Ive attracted no one; but Ive been stuck with a whole lot of lower level gutter people that show up around me.
What am I suppose to be doing with my life; I don't know; Im working on it because; what else am I suppose to do.
I come from a TV set of pictures and vids and movies; and based what I wanted for my life on those things, but when the movies were over and I was forced into the real world; I could not cope; I was not trained for the real world.
Ive been around trashy people all of my life.
Im not sure what else to do with my life but to fallow the stars; Ive tried to fit in in numerous situations; and got nowhere being myself; I finally stopped trying; and did not know what to do.
Ive had no girlfriend; still don't have any.
Where are the type of women I want to date; thats the question; I've worked with the universe; but nothing.
I don't know how to handle interactions with people when my life has been so stripped of everything; who will understand this....
Its all very tiring.
Im not sure anymore; I don't fit into society at any level accept maybe the rich; if I had money.
Im getting ready to go on a campout; I can already see that going back to those specific meetings was a mistake but I learned a few things; socially; nothing; At this camp out; Ill probably just walk around alone as I did before; not really getting into any good conversations.
Im going out of desperation and loneliness; for no other reason.
I have no ideas here; I would like to meet a wonderful women that I can talk to; but nothing; I would have to move up the ladder to a better position in life and be with someone that understands me; its possible; I attract women; but not anyone I can date; its ridiculous.
Im trying to understand what this is all for; why am I here; what am I suppose to do with my life. Ive been working on it for a long time; and very little is to be shown of the work Ive done..
So; I dont know what to think; I continually get the message that I should not be at most of the social situations Im at; the people and places and things. I have no personal life or people in a personal life. nothing; No one cares; Im not sure what to do except move on; thats what i want to do; but where do I go.
I find it strange that I have the ability to keep going forward; but their seems to be no reason; Im not connected to anyone.
Im suppose to learn to have faith in the universe; the universe has got my back; but where is all the stuff Ive attempted to manifest?
Im suppose to have trust.
I guess I could manifest honest friends; what would that look like? Thats a whole others situation.
Money is a huge problem that keeps me away from people.
Possibly, I could keep working with the universe concerning money; I seem to have hope and things to work on; but, Im working on some day getting a life while my life slips away; Im working on some day getting a life while its slipping away right now and Im suppose to trust the universe.
Connection seems to be the problem; nothing makes any sense.

Dissociative Disorder
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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