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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
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- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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Lonely and still here

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Tue Jun 25, 2019 11:32 am

No connection; it continues; Im looking for utopia; maybe its in money; having money and good friends; but even the rich complain about being alone.
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Im not doing what I want to do or like to do; if I had it my way; Id be gone from this planet and the corruption and the 2 faced horrible horrifying people; its unbelievable to me.
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Ive been mentally ill and made mistakes; but I tried to go back the best I could and fix it; I tried to be friends with people who didn't want me. I never knew their was anything wrong with me; their was nothing wrong with me in the idea of being friends with me; nothing. Still nothing wrong with me as for being friends with me.
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Ive attracted no one; but Ive been stuck with a whole lot of lower level gutter people that show up around me.
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What am I suppose to be doing with my life; I don't know; Im working on it because; what else am I suppose to do.
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I come from a TV set of pictures and vids and movies; and based what I wanted for my life on those things, but when the movies were over and I was forced into the real world; I could not cope; I was not trained for the real world.
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Ive been around trashy people all of my life.
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Im not sure what else to do with my life but to fallow the stars; Ive tried to fit in in numerous situations; and got nowhere being myself; I finally stopped trying; and did not know what to do.
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Ive had no girlfriend; still don't have any.
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Where are the type of women I want to date; thats the question; I've worked with the universe; but nothing.
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I don't know how to handle interactions with people when my life has been so stripped of everything; who will understand this....
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Its all very tiring.
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Im not sure anymore; I don't fit into society at any level accept maybe the rich; if I had money.
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Im getting ready to go on a campout; I can already see that going back to those specific meetings was a mistake but I learned a few things; socially; nothing; At this camp out; Ill probably just walk around alone as I did before; not really getting into any good conversations.
Im going out of desperation and loneliness; for no other reason.
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I have no ideas here; I would like to meet a wonderful women that I can talk to; but nothing; I would have to move up the ladder to a better position in life and be with someone that understands me; its possible; I attract women; but not anyone I can date; its ridiculous.
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Im trying to understand what this is all for; why am I here; what am I suppose to do with my life. Ive been working on it for a long time; and very little is to be shown of the work Ive done..
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So; I dont know what to think; I continually get the message that I should not be at most of the social situations Im at; the people and places and things. I have no personal life or people in a personal life. nothing; No one cares; Im not sure what to do except move on; thats what i want to do; but where do I go.
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I find it strange that I have the ability to keep going forward; but their seems to be no reason; Im not connected to anyone.
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Im suppose to learn to have faith in the universe; the universe has got my back; but where is all the stuff Ive attempted to manifest?
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Im suppose to have trust.
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I guess I could manifest honest friends; what would that look like? Thats a whole others situation.
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Money is a huge problem that keeps me away from people.
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Possibly, I could keep working with the universe concerning money; I seem to have hope and things to work on; but, Im working on some day getting a life while my life slips away; Im working on some day getting a life while its slipping away right now and Im suppose to trust the universe.
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Connection seems to be the problem; nothing makes any sense.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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