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OMNICELL
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Loneliness; hitting hard tonight

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Nov 06, 2017 3:33 am

ITs not easy; non of this! Im depending on God; source energy for a life! I have to admit that I grown allot over the last several years; but for what! whats the purpose, the real purpose; something to believe in; be alive for; music, art, women , friends! I dont know! When will God supply the answer! Ive done the work; I continue to do the work; but God does not seem to be listening! Im trying the best I can; I will continue; but its hard to jump over protective walls; to much of it and I crumble! does God not care! I just want to be taken care of as if I come from a big loving family! but nothing!
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Im I so terrible that God cant at least find a few people in a planet of 7 billion people, to associate with me! Am I so hideous that he cant bring a few people in my direction!
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Ive been working on a soulmate for about 3 years! nothing! non of the people that are coming my way fit the bill! Ive asked God for help with traveling, so I can meet people in other places; but I dont see any roads or paths opening up for me! maybe Im missing something; its like; where is it! " God, do you know what Im looking for, do you know where it is?!
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I feel stuck! alone, lonely, going nowhere! I feel like Im in Disney land with a full night pass; I can ride the rides all night long but no other people are allowed in the area! whats the point!
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Whats the point of all this! being alive, being on this planet! Im not connected to anything or anyone; why! What did I do that God would continue to allow this!
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Ive asked God for the right people; all I get is the wrong people! oK; Im sending out the wrong vibes; ok; I ask God for help! he sends me places to learn how to create the right vibes; Im trying, but its never good enough! Nothing comes my way!
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What am I attracting! Will God help me see positive view of things; I need Gods help internally to change how I view things! is God helping with this!
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How long will this take; Ill be dead before my life shows up! Why bother with all this!
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I feel like I have hope but no life! Nothing makes any sense!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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Comments

Re: Loneliness; hitting hard tonight

Permanent Linkby Snaga on Mon Nov 06, 2017 4:10 pm

It gets frustrating sometimes, and it's hard to stay patient, I know. I've learned that for me things happen in their own good time.
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Tell someone you love them today, because Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, because Life is also terrifying and confusing.

We do not delete posts.
Let it go.
Without (forum) rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
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