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OMNICELL
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Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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- September 2019
One off the more nasty brutal parts of healing
   Fri Sep 13, 2019 4:52 pm
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   Thu Sep 12, 2019 6:22 am
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   Tue Sep 03, 2019 4:33 am

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Life statement

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Apr 18, 2019 11:29 pm

Life statement;
I love knowing I don't have to hold anyone responsible for the way my life unfolds. “ from a well known success coach”.
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When I say this statement over n over; I begin to see the horror of my past; and where I dissociate; anywhere numerous years of my life; plenty of situations from my beginning in life up to age 18. And several things after; lots of bulling.
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My limited beliefs are based on the way people controlled me; if they physically controlled me and kept me in one space; I created a belief of resistance by freezing up in one space and not moving; thats how I hated; and getting back at them; not moving. I went through this all the time becoming completely freaked out; and much other things. I was appalled by all of this; especially when Im suppose to be living in a free country. But it was not free for me. I was destroyed here. no freedom for me. nothing.
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Anyway; when I attempt to move past those moments in the present; I get hit by ghosts in my nervous system; I relive all of it; their faces are in my body and my mind and head; completely taking me over; as if they came into my core area of self.
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So; I have my work cut out for me. The goal is to move into a freedom space of; I love knowing I don't have to hold anyone responsible for the way my life unfolds. “ from a well known success coach”.
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I love knowing my life is on my own concerning the movement forward and unfolding of my life. I know how to unfold it; Ive studied it for 5 1/2 years; so I know how. Im beginning the process of taking it more seriously; its not about knowledge; its about work; My work ethic concerning the process to unfold myself; it requires work; meditation and writing new stories of my life. So; I have allot of work to do. And I have to learn how to have a happy narrative regardless of what happens between what I want and when I get it. I cant give up; I dont get to use the old alibis to quit like before. Im into success so quitting is not an option.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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