Im just a little kid inside; and thats fine but it may not be everyones cup a tea. You cant tell everyone everything about you. Telling the wrong people can cause great problems. They are evil and will trample it under their feet; turn and tear me into pieces.
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Ive been learning lately to not talk anymore; Ive talked about personal things and attracted the wrong people. and I didnt understand until I found out they are bad people and it is a mistake to tell bad people anything about myself.
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The fact Im in the vicinity of bad people is the problem; its a lack of awareness of consequences dealign within the real of bad people.
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lately Ive been interested in a women; but she had only a momentary interest in me; she is a bad person that I should have stayed away from. I did not think that it mattered; but it does matter; she is a bad person and she wanted to hang around bad men and bad people. And so; what am I doing around her?; well; I think everything is a TV movie. And im living out this TV movie.... And she is one of the characters; but in real life she is not a character in a movie and she is not safe.
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Im actually proud of myself; i got the opportunity to get close to this women over n over; she gave it to me and i stopped; several times i got close to her and said no; her behavior was 2 inconsistent and treacherous and so are the people she hangs around with; including men that liked her that she pulled in…
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she is and was 2 faced
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im proud of myself because i never took the bait; i waited and watched and i was correct; at some point; she turned on me when i appeared to be weak. she was looking for the right moment to move forward against me and covertly took it.
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what i don't like is spending time in the same meetings with her; i want to recover and don't want some witch that practices adultery around me or the men she pulls in; i have to see this and don't appreciate it.
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The last meeting i was at; i was treated like a second class citizen by her in some ways; discarded and ignored as if i had not known or liked her; she could care less or care less if she ever sees me again; at all. Nothing….
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Ive made friends with other people who value me; she does not value me because she has no values of the nature of quality im talking about and never will.
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I am grieving her loss a bit; its not to strong. It would be better for me not to ever associate with her ever again; but im still in the same meetings; but its been that way from the beginning.
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I remember when she did like me a bit; but later i started talking about having to feel safe around people and this person does not care if I feel safe around her at all; nothing; in fact its treacherous to be around this person; my feelings being trampled to death; so i was right.
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Im slowly learning how to meet new people and move on….