| Psychology and Mental Health Forum | |
https://www.psychforums.com/blog/OMNICELL/learning_how_to_go_into_reality%3B_my_own_reality.............._b-15271_sid-c57835479d57917954db4b320fd3a8cb.html |
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| Author: | OMNICELL [ Sun Aug 27, 2023 7:39 pm ] |
| Blog Subject: | Learning how to go into reality; my own reality.............. |
New Blog; . So; At this moment in time; with all the work that Ive done under God and Heaven. Its as if Im back at 14; That means somewhat of a healthy 14. Im much healthier right now then I used to be mentally or I would say concerning my emotional state… Not perfect; However; its getting more stabilized… It reminds me of my 14th birthday; I was lost; no one cared about me but Im not slaughtered from fake girls leading me on as if they like me and want me in their lives when they don’t. . . So; I start out again at a kind of maturity of a 14 year old. The problem is; what would I have been doing at 14. Lets say Im on a vacation; Im swimming in a pool at the age of 14 at a hotel. I have no real identity; no real adult identity; I just don’t; I don’t have anything to work with… Nothing has been developed nor a direction; Nothing! Not Yet......... . So; Here I am now; Im that 14 year old… Im getting better; However; No adult identity; That is whats missing. It used to be cut off like I was beheaded; Now Ive got some identity back but it is generic... . Relationships; So I want something other then the dismal direction I had in my original 14 year old experience. I want to go in a direction that is healthy for me. So; what would that look like. I mean; I get to do this again. God has built a pathway for me to get me to this point. Now what? I don’t have any further identity at this moment then a kind of lost 14 year old. However; Im fairly stable; if I can call it that; its still volatile; im holding my own. . I have no identity beyond this 14 year old of my past. Im doing great as far as options. Im in a good place to receive recovery and be taken care of… meaning; I have God and recovery groups… and some goals and success based thinking ability. Great! . When I think about an identity; an adult identity; Im not sure anything comes to mind; However; I can see a long stretch to a point of being an adult who does adult independent things for my future. I have no idea what any of that looks like or how to get there or how to feel the maturity level that goes with it. So; its a start…. . . --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- . Music creation… My ability to respond and interact with my equipment seems to be coming forth. Its all therapeutic. Im learning for the first time how to take things a bit more into reality at a sub bass level; very simple stuff for a mentally disabled person… very very basic simple stuff… . Art; Yes; Im creating using art programs a bit. I want to write stories and put them into videos on a you-tube channel. So; that means fooling around with 2D animation software… music created; Art programs; paint programs… And so on…… . Also writing stories.. |
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