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https://www.psychforums.com/blog/OMNICELL/ive_worked_through_things%3B_im_moving_on...._b-15334_sid-e96cb7dfdd53a7a58f57dc67d0260f13.html |
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| Author: | OMNICELL [ Sat Apr 20, 2024 12:06 am ] |
| Blog Subject: | Ive worked through THings; Im moving on.... |
Checking In. . Music; . Working with God on what music keyboards; stage piano’s computer music synthesizers and such; would suit me for practice, for using with computer music and live performance pieces. Im working with God looking at all the angles. God will let me know… As I work through the choices on the market; the Universe will point me in the right direction. . . Working through the past. . . So; went to a meeting; And talked a couple of them or more; and suddenly tonight; My emotions are back. These are the ruptured emotions I lost; They are back; theyve come back. I am free of the past; Kind of. Ive got my emotions back. They are surrounded by scar tissue but their back. Still ruptured areas… . The women that did this to me; destroyed me are now kind of dormant PTSD; They are now trapped in a tV screen in my head with no sound; I can see them… But what power do they have; what are they controlling of me today. At this point; not much. . Can I get into a new relationship at this point; YES; My emotions are floating over… They are calling out to meet a women who fits their purpose sent and directed by God… Im now looking at women as a match to those emotions… what connects with those emotions. . However; Ill be working down a God Pathway where God will attract many many people and God will filter those contestants who qualify. . Heres the problem; Im in not emotional strength shape to be in a relationship. I do have my emotions back; God has brought them back.. . They can be ripped out of me; ripped to pieces; so I don’t know who God will bring. Ive been opening up at meetings allot about this stuff and have a sponsor for this part of the journey… . Concerning my emotions; I feel like a guy who had a heart attack and is now just out of the hospital. His heart is working again but he cant lift 10 pounds… . So; we will see; but what this means is; Im free of the past; That basic part of me stuck or caught in the past now belongs to me again. . And this time Ill work with God to connect with the right people under God. . WOMEN OF THE PAST WHO DID THIS: Its still really sickening to think someone wanted to ruin me at this level; its almost murder; pure murder is all this was… Nothing more… ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- . Music; Getting ideas more n more on how to set up a key-rig for live playing; have lots of ideas… all good. Amen. . . God gave me a present and brought my emotions back to me in the present; they now belong to me right here and right now; No longer in the past trapped nor belonged to anyone from the past; they are mine to use NOW! . Im still in great pain; I will be for a long while and I still continue to work on getting those past people out of my head and nervous system. . . .. Feelings are returning to me. My feelings were destroyed because of the interactions with someone I mistakenly thought was sent by God to help me; this girl when I was very young. . After several resent years of continued work on this subject; it looks like Im Free Now. My feelings have returned to me… My mind as a basic cleared feeling of this incident from the past; I do not naturally think about her. ( However Im still dealing with this; Im not done yet) Its been disconnected and cleared out. And I have a better understanding of what happened while associating with her. It was my fault. . Ive been feeling those feelings and how they want to connect with new people. However; Im now taking those feelings to God and working with God on them. . Concerning First Love; I made a mistake because of my mental illness problems. I was not aware of the outside world even though I was walking around in it; and this will cause grave consequences; I will end up around the wrong people when I should have never left my room at the house I was staying in. . However; for the most part; practically speaking; I am free enough now to move on.. Ive already moved forward and Im more free then I let on. Im doing better. . . GoD Pathway; This is my new direction; keep working down God Pathway for what I want! |
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