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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1021)
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- October 2019
Im still to young
   Fri Oct 18, 2019 4:36 pm
Age doesn't matter; PTSD does
   Sat Oct 12, 2019 11:17 pm
A fear of getting laid; a horrible fear
   Thu Oct 10, 2019 6:44 pm
She thought I was crazy; and she wasn't alone
   Wed Oct 09, 2019 5:00 am
Signs of handling reality
   Mon Oct 07, 2019 9:20 am

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Ive found some answers

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

Dating, sex, intimacy; getting close to women, talking to women; problem; critical voice; and dissociation into flashbacks; the flash backs hit fast;quick; they appear as soon as I start thinking in any level of depth and feeling.
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Music career, Art career, blocked from CPTSD critical voice... I cant make three chords until the CPTSD takes over and knocks me useless through flashbacks...
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Mathematics; Anything doing with studying; I freeze up; and flashback. A wall of massive flashbacks.
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Most of the pain is coming from seeing my mothers voice; seeing her hovering over me; like Im a small child and she is behind me putting me down; convincing me Im not good enough for anyone or anything. And I was told I was not good enough for a model or a pretty girl when I got older.
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I know my mother took on her fathers persona; He was an evil; extreme bad demonic individual. My mother was blue printed with this persons personality. I have all the ideas in the world what he did to her to turn her into a psychopath. She is not a victim or my victim; She is a female Ted Bundy; I do not feel sorry for her or anyone else like this; a pure form predator.
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Im getting flash backs just writing this.
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O; and no ability to have financial or career success; money success’ nothing; no movement...
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So; work will go into removing the critical voice from CPSTD.
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Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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