Women; Dealing with women; I don't know! I need or want better quality people; its that simple! I guess one could say more mature; but thats not it; more sophisticated!
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I was thrown away when young; now, the goal is to face source energy and recover! and this means recovery in every and all areas; including education, talents, security, success, relationships; dreams; everything! spirituality! where I live and how I feel on a daily basis, who I know! everything! who I hang with! Friend life, sex life!
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Sex life was destroyed! Now, slowly things have turned around a bit; meaning, with the laws of attraction, Ive attracted some people that I was attracted 2!
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most of the people Im around are not the right ones for sex! They don't want sex, they want another dream man to marry and take care of their kids; Im not interested; no thanks! Im not their father and she's not my wife; so back off!
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I need better quality people around me!
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Trusting God is the most important issue; the unfolding of my life here on earth! This is a hard one; lots of memories I would rather forget! I was exploited completely as a child; nothing I can do about it! The scum that did were scum!
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Trust in a higher power and go in the right directions!
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I have talents; haven't done me any good! cant get in touch with them; I haven't been in situations of decency enough to use them!
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Im slowly allowing God to make things happen and take me back into art and expressional areas! nothing easy about this! Im like; " again"! What type of disappointments am I going to be in this time!
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I have to work with God and trust! the trust is the most important thing Im working with God! The child in me does not need more broken promise to a God that never delivered! What good was it to be destroyed on earth in my own country by my own people; what good was this!
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Im attempting to open up and take chances opening up! So, Im working with God on this experiment! The point is; its about God; God first! God is the front man; I send him the info, he is my protector; I send the info of what I want from my life on earth and he takes car of the rest!
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I was humiliated and demoralized when young! used; and something should be done about it! meaning, from God! I have to learn how to work with God! God and trust and the focus on working with God and not working about the outcome!
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Its all very confusing working with God! the unfolding of pathways! Why wont God just bring me what i want! Whats the purpose of all these games; for what! why! Why would the universe need to play all these games! why! Im sure my feelings have been explicit about what I want! I dont get it! I have to change from someone that feels like Im missing something to someone who believes its coming! its about belief, and I have to take this to God!