Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1025)
Archives
- November 2019
Social skills improving
   Thu Nov 07, 2019 12:51 am
My goal is to work through adolescence.
   Fri Nov 01, 2019 9:16 pm

+ October 2019
+ September 2019
+ August 2019
+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

Introvert

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Dec 23, 2012 1:51 am

I am an introvert with a ruptured mind that has been healing for sometime. The outside world is a very hard place on my mind. I have had full Dissociative disorder, my mind was similar to a schizophrenic experience . I am much better now.. However, my mind, or the base mind is just as weak as before; It has been cleaned out a bit!

I take chances outside with things that do not represent the sensitive natured person I am on the inside. These experiences create the opportunity for this Dissociative brain to gain great feedback. What a dissociative personality needs as much as hope is feedback in the real world; it helps bring one into reality away from the brain...

I have to pull back and observe much of the time when I am over stimulated. I have taken great chances. Many people think Im a shallow dumb idiot weakling immature. So, its working, Im incognito.
Im a book worm attempting to act like a surfer... Im actually quit shy and withdrawn.. However, Ive studied much on what it takes to create attraction in others and I have taken some chances. However, I pull back most of the time. I recede back into my corner that I be safe. All of this has worked over the years to create a healing phase for dissociative symptoms,.

Lately I have taken chances that are over my ability to follow through. I have no regrets. I was just practicing. I, Many people do not understand mental concerns.
My mind is to weak to have relationships; therefore, I must have relationships with special people that understand my situation. I pull back into my cave all the time. I pull back on the normys that get to close.

Im finding that it requires energy-extraversion to accomplish and follow through on some of my tasks.
I am able to penetrate the perimeters and set up camp, However, I am not there to create a battle. Im just gathering information that I get well..

I can start the beginnings of a relationship, the inquiry, However, I cannot go much past this point of spark-light. Alas, those involved see me as weird and withdrawn at best, or schizoid in my 2 faces, one extravert and the pulling away introvert that disappears emotionally and never returns to public eye. I recede that I heal up, to much interaction shocks my system and over throws it, I can be down for months because of this.. No one knows this about me... The people at the meetings are more realistic based. Psych stuff is not there penmanship.

I was severally damaged, dangerously so in my younger life. So, it is no game. None of this life experience at this point is a game. All is at a deep deep level. The workings are at a deep deep deadly serious level, although, I may have a smile on my face and Im talking about the weather, Im thinking about much deeper things.

I believe the next natural direction is personal up-close interactions with people. This is horrible at best. Ive had more and more, and I freak. I have the PTSD line. This is a a perimeter of 2 feet in front and around me, that if penetrated, I go off. A strange Dissociative experience occurs. I cannot explain what it is like. Its a specific experience of personal defense in the brain. Its the safety zones. IT is very hard to stay present or look someone in the eyes, its very difficult. It is the next place God is taking me for practice, that I, over time wake up.

For now I let go of the last 6 months, count my losses and the feedback I experienced and move on with the present...

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 18362 times

Who is online

Registered users: ayeshakbar, Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, John8257, Majestic-12 [Bot], MenOfTheFutur, MSN [Bot], Nimrod95, thatdudee, Tyler, woowibbly, Zor