| Psychology and Mental Health Forum | |
https://www.psychforums.com/blog/OMNICELL/in_the_middle_of_transition%C7%83_b-12428_sid-2e94da3bac7bd26a56cd08a6daead27c.html |
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| Author: | OMNICELL [ Sat Sep 08, 2018 3:47 pm ] |
| Blog Subject: | In the middle of transition! |
Im truly in the middle of some kind of transition! Ive not arrived yet! . I watched cartoons when a child; and then was thrown out into the world; the only world I knew; watching cartoons in front of a TV set! When I was stripped of my life and thrown away; I went into shock! The shock led to the foundations of mental illness that had already been established when very young! I become mentally ill and at the same time being destroyed out in the environment of creatures trying to survive! Then I got worse; non functioning; put on social security; found myself in 12 step groups! And Now I want to leave and go back out into the world! . The reason I want to leave the recovery world is because theirs nothing their but the recovery world! . I want my life back; occupations and relationships! I dont know how Im going to get them or have a family; I dont know! Im scared of the outside world and its treachery; However, having no life is just as bad! . The problem is; Im so sensitive to the outside world and I never grew past base level poverty! . Safety is what Ive always wanted and needed but dont have! Money creates safety! haven't have it! and no one cares! . So; being around the right people and creating a life for myself is the direction Im interested in! . I see others living; Im not! They seem spoiled to me! Things they have I dont have! . Life is hard for me with this disability! . Im to scared to approach anyone; I dont trust them! . Im not invited into the inner circles of better people because I have no money! . Im not sure what to do! work with God and the universe! . What do I want? This is a hard question! I want the ability to have a solid life that no one can take from me! I thought money could fix this! I would like a fix to the relationship problems! and love life problems and sex problems! Sex is a problem because I cant deal with a women from the time I meet her to the time she is in my bed; something wrong; possibly a control issue on my part! I dont want to get hurt; I dont want to hurt others@ ! . What would be perfect; having the perfect Asian-soulmate! |
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