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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
Archives
- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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In the middle of transition!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sat Sep 08, 2018 3:47 pm

Im truly in the middle of some kind of transition! Ive not arrived yet!
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I watched cartoons when a child; and then was thrown out into the world; the only world I knew; watching cartoons in front of a TV set! When I was stripped of my life and thrown away; I went into shock! The shock led to the foundations of mental illness that had already been established when very young! I become mentally ill and at the same time being destroyed out in the environment of creatures trying to survive! Then I got worse; non functioning; put on social security; found myself in 12 step groups! And Now I want to leave and go back out into the world!
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The reason I want to leave the recovery world is because theirs nothing their but the recovery world!
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I want my life back; occupations and relationships! I dont know how Im going to get them or have a family; I dont know! Im scared of the outside world and its treachery; However, having no life is just as bad!
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The problem is; Im so sensitive to the outside world and I never grew past base level poverty!
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Safety is what Ive always wanted and needed but dont have! Money creates safety! haven't have it! and no one cares!
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So; being around the right people and creating a life for myself is the direction Im interested in!
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I see others living; Im not! They seem spoiled to me! Things they have I dont have!
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Life is hard for me with this disability!
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Im to scared to approach anyone; I dont trust them!
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Im not invited into the inner circles of better people because I have no money!
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Im not sure what to do! work with God and the universe!
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What do I want? This is a hard question! I want the ability to have a solid life that no one can take from me! I thought money could fix this! I would like a fix to the relationship problems! and love life problems and sex problems! Sex is a problem because I cant deal with a women from the time I meet her to the time she is in my bed; something wrong; possibly a control issue on my part! I dont want to get hurt; I dont want to hurt others@ !

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What would be perfect; having the perfect Asian-soulmate!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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