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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (951)
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- July 2019
A place exists
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 11:21 pm
Things are changing again
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:41 pm
Things are heating up; Im now backing down
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 9:06 am
I have CPTSD
   Wed Jul 17, 2019 4:47 pm
Real changes are occurring
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:46 am
Coming back into the present
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:32 am
Im extremely frustrated
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:14 pm
Fining myself or facing myself
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:39 pm
Im beginning to understand
   Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:30 pm
Visualizing
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:28 pm
Starting from the beginning
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:35 pm
The trap house part 2
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:13 pm
The trap house; I only knew about; In the end I win
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:15 am
Massive Mega paradigm shift
   Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:01 pm
First post recovery conversation
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:55 pm
Dating and Art
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:44 pm
movement
   Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:56 pm
childhood abandonment
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:23 pm
Being single
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:53 am
Preview: PTSD; High School
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:31 pm
Fear
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:34 pm
Ive found some answers
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:41 pm
D.I.D; let me introduce myself
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:23 pm
PTSD; dealing with triggers.
   Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:32 am
Making me into a loser; its all about the critical voice
   Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:08 pm
Molding sound like clay; having reasons; Things are changing
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:25 pm
critical voice
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:38 am
Toxic shame
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 11:05 pm
Ive found some answers
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

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Im working on stories

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Wed May 08, 2019 8:32 pm

Im working on stories concerning my future; what I want to be or be like or own when I grow up; who I want to marry; everything; every story I can come up with; O my! Its not easy; but one starts at the beginning and with time I can do well at it; not in the beginning; its treacherous; I hit my walls that stop me in life; virtual walls inside my head. they stop my writing; so; I allow more stories to be written and I keep at it; slowly painfully breaking things down; breaking walls down. Also, visualizing what I want; focusing in on what I want; that is the fasted way to get what I want; to find the path of least resistance is to focus in my mind of what I want; for long periods all day long. And this is my great goal; to train my mind to be an expert at focusing on what I want; watching it grow in my head.
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So; its working; but its a “man-up"; meaning; anyone that participates in this kind of things; you got to man up; this is long term and its lonely work and painful; and Im out on a limb most of the time; it hurts; its sorrowful and everything that goes with it; but it must be done; and its working; working to break down the barriers of the past.
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Its not easy; its hard earned. I keep at it;
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I love knowing Im not holding anyone else responsible for the way my life unfolds. And their it is; and its all about practice.
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What unfolds; not only the dream I want but how to get it.
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Heres an example;
What does it take to loose weight; it takes practice exercising; I have to learn to write stories about weight loss that motivate me as if Im already thin. Hours and hours of exercise. Hundreds of hours; 300 to 400 hours of exercise for some; and thats the way it works; B_tch about it; who the ###$ cares; the fat on my gut dont care; It will only come off when I loose more calories then I take in; and how is that done; exercise. Ive been on several weight loss excursions; motivation to build momentum; 100 hours to get in shape; and then it starts; another 300 hours to loose the weight; How long will it take; its up to me; how long do I want to weight before putting in those 300 hours; and food changes start occurring; sugar is eliminated and the amount I eat is eliminated; and the foods I eat are purposely slow digesting; meaning Im not hungry most of the day; and I learn to drink water and eat soups when Im eating; fills my gut up and flips the cut off switch in my nervous system; telling my brain Im full.
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$#%^ takes work; noth’ns free baby.
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Not everyone is on my side; when one sees me climbing out of the box; they want to pull me back in; slots of work to continue until I get past the point of other crabs trying to pull me back into the boiling crab sauté pan with lid; This crabs knocked that lid off and is getting out; Im going somewhere in life; I dont care about the losers left behind; bye bye losers.
Last edited by Snaga on Thu May 09, 2019 2:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Swear filter

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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