Ive been working along long time to tip the scales in my favor concerning my past life. Failure, and dissociative disorder are just a few of the problems.
.
Im about to tip the scales in my favor in a short while! What is a short while?, I dont know! It means a short distance; How long will it take to process through this short distance; I dont know! Will their be hidden obstacles that require other journeys and short distances; I dont know?,
The goal is to be up to speed in the present; focusing completely on my desires and the future; and not living in the past anymore! This means, when my mind forms a desire in my imagination, I go for it! Im up to speed! I like myself, love myself, align myself with the universe and its creator and go for it! Theirs no looking back because I do not practice such things; thats the kind of attitude Im working toward! being happy and spontaneous!
.
For example; lets say I wanted a new truck but dont have the money and I feel doubts about ever getting what I want! Well; STOP! First, I dont create desires Im not going after, and when I go after a desire, Im not bringing wishing or self doubt or whats reality! Im not interest in what is, Im interested in what I want! The point is; I have to get up to speed in my life and look at everything in front of me as existing! The problem is long term PTSD! Im trapped in the past! almost every thought I have triggers another thought that takes me back in time and traps me! Im now working on solutions to this kind of thinking!
.
The goal is being present and dealing only with what I want! If I want something, I work with the universe and take the path that is unfolding toward it!
.
The problem has been childlike beliefs stopping me! a broken child is running my life and ruining it! The child has been bashed in and does not consider anything in the outside world safe!
.
The past, the way I thought in the past and think about the past; all of it has to go! the whole concept of living in the past has to go! The success based interests I have; they are all in the present moving into the future; their is no past! The door can be opened on the past but Im not waking through it; my focus is on the things of the present and the future that I want for my life! My future is not in my past! And therefore, my focus has to be completely turned around to the other direction; and that is hard but its possible and it can be done!