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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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- July 2019
Coming back into the present
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:32 am
Im extremely frustrated
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:14 pm
Fining myself or facing myself
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:39 pm
Im beginning to understand
   Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:30 pm
Visualizing
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:28 pm
Starting from the beginning
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:35 pm
The trap house part 2
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:13 pm
The trap house; I only knew about; In the end I win
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:15 am
Massive Mega paradigm shift
   Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:01 pm
First post recovery conversation
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:55 pm
Dating and Art
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movement
   Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:56 pm
childhood abandonment
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:23 pm
Being single
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:53 am
Preview: PTSD; High School
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:31 pm
Fear
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:34 pm
Ive found some answers
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D.I.D; let me introduce myself
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PTSD; dealing with triggers.
   Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:32 am
Making me into a loser; its all about the critical voice
   Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:08 pm
Molding sound like clay; having reasons; Things are changing
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:25 pm
critical voice
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:38 am
Toxic shame
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 11:05 pm
Ive found some answers
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

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Im seeing psychopaths when I see women!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Tue Jul 03, 2018 8:46 pm

God help me; Im seeing psychopath when I see women! ITs bad enough that this has destroyed my social like, love life, relationship life; worse, it means Im still being controlled by my mother!
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Im as hard as a rock in this area! When I see women; I see my mother! it never lets up! women finally go away and go out with someone else; they give up on me; my attitude is; fine; " I then fill the blank with cuss words"; and their gone! I blame them; but something is wrong! I would never let them get near me! of course, they never tried to get any closer to me even tho I had problems!
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I just saw a pic with 4 women that liked me! Or three and one I could have slept with and wanted to!
I never did anything; When they first meet me; they like me; 2 weeks later, someone has warned them about me; to stay away or that Im some kind of creep! their attitude about me changes; at that moment; Im done with them; I see their change of attitude! However, some of them still like me!
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I never allow them to get close because they will not do the one thing I demand; I demand they take a subordinate roll of some kind; get humble when they deal with me! We are not equal! Im a man she is a women; she has her role or place and I identity and I have mine; I dont want my boundaries touched; or my space! Prove it first; that you will get inline with the me and the universe first!
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However, I see pics of women that i could have gone out with and Im making them out to be monsters; in reality, they have low self esteem and self worth and yet, I dont try to go out with them; like I dont like them! Instead I would say; Im 2 late; now; I appreciate them more! but now; they are gone!
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Im hoping source energy of the universe brings me women that are ready for me now; not in 2 years!
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I know that thieir are millions of soulmates in the world! so, its time to move on; Im concerned about why I dont trust these women; maybe their just shallow and Im not trusting that shallow part of them! I know theirs goodness in them; I can see it! but I wont let them get near me!
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Instead of fighting about it; I will ask the universe to bring me women I can get near and feel conferrable with! move on! I would say this is a good lesson in learning to attract new people!
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I get this sinking feeling I should have done something; that these girls cant be that bad; the way Im making them out to be! Im holding some kind of hatred or resentment! Im mad!
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Im mad because they wont take any responsibility and help me! IF they dont want to help me; I dont want them anywhere near me; their not worth my time! So; I would say that they are OK women as is; but, not datable because they lack certain basic principles I live by or want in women! I would say they are nice women! They have all the traits of nice women, but they dont have the traits im looking for in a relationship or their bidding that they do; and Im not chasing that out of them; thats not honest to hide it in the first place; Im not going their! Im running away as fast as possible! They all have boyfriends and as quick as they want! men like them! I dont think they have the depth to underhand me or; they want to get married and are not interested in a complicated guy like me! Its not worth it; all they want is a ring on their fingers from some jock that pays the bills and their set! and Im not that person; nor Im I that kind of person! Im not!
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Whats troubling me; to look back at this picture and realized I wanted someone of them and never went for it! Why didnt I really not go for it! I didnt think I was worthy!
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And I dont really know they wanted me; I would not know until I asked!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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