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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (951)
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- July 2019
A place exists
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 11:21 pm
Things are changing again
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:41 pm
Things are heating up; Im now backing down
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 9:06 am
I have CPTSD
   Wed Jul 17, 2019 4:47 pm
Real changes are occurring
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:46 am
Coming back into the present
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:32 am
Im extremely frustrated
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:14 pm
Fining myself or facing myself
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:39 pm
Im beginning to understand
   Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:30 pm
Visualizing
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:28 pm
Starting from the beginning
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:35 pm
The trap house part 2
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:13 pm
The trap house; I only knew about; In the end I win
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:15 am
Massive Mega paradigm shift
   Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:01 pm
First post recovery conversation
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:55 pm
Dating and Art
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:44 pm
movement
   Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:56 pm
childhood abandonment
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:23 pm
Being single
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:53 am
Preview: PTSD; High School
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:31 pm
Fear
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:34 pm
Ive found some answers
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:41 pm
D.I.D; let me introduce myself
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:23 pm
PTSD; dealing with triggers.
   Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:32 am
Making me into a loser; its all about the critical voice
   Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:08 pm
Molding sound like clay; having reasons; Things are changing
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:25 pm
critical voice
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:38 am
Toxic shame
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 11:05 pm
Ive found some answers
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

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Im interested in a wife!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:55 am

Its an interesting thing when a man says he wants a wife! This is a good sign and a sign of recovery! For wanting a wife means one thing; unconditional love!
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Unconditional love; is it possible!
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With all the hate Ive been through; is it possible to love anything!
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Im working on something; a direction; unconditional love toward a women; specifically; who ever will be my wife! This is hard! not easy! its literally hard!
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Im working with the universe for a wife! She's looking for me; Im looking for her!
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Unconditional love is an act of bravery! Im not sure I have bravery; Im a coward! So; things are exceptionally hard for me!
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The idea is to want to live and live life and have unconditional love for my wife; I remember what this was like! And I want a friend; her friendship! I kind of remember! thats what Im looking for!
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Im looking for myself! Im looking to connect with myself and connect with my inner being! Im scared and mis trusting!
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Im very scared' it will take courage! ITs takes courage to love; the love has to emanate from me! its not something I get from others; its a force within me and it flies out of me! and I am a ball of enthusiasm when around others; Ive been their before, a long time ago!
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Ive learned a few things since the last time I loved; don't tell a soul about it! Just take care of business and work with the universe!
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I know the direction; The support come from 12 step meetings but very few people!
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Im basically alone! so; I have to work with the universe on every front!
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Hatred and anger and resentment and judgment of others; This has to go; all of it! it can go; its lingering in me; but has no reason to be their! Ive worked on anger and resentment! A new life is abounding for me; I must get over the old one and the old thoughts and memories! the horror of long term attainment of evil! meaning; I was forced into evil! now; Im wanting to let go of the defense's that sustained my life to fight against it! I fought the good fight and I was destroyed! Now; I would like to live! I won the fight; now its time to let go of it and move on; I want a wife!
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So; working toward getting a wife; I cant be a fake! I have to come back to life and have personality! This is going to be hard! I have to love life! its possible! it starts in my heart and my thoughts! its possible with much work!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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