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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1033
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (914)
Archives
- June 2019
1966 and 50 years later; or 50 years to late?
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 4:29 am
Coping with what has happened to me in this life
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 1:43 am
Visualizations
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 9:27 pm
Talents and development
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 12:39 pm
Money and women
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 12:19 pm
women and shame
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 5:53 am
Music creating; blocked
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 1:46 am
Im getting very close
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 1:25 am
Its hard when you were never loved.
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 5:29 pm
Things are changing
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 6:08 am
Cant finish anything I start; cant get started
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 3:36 am
Social isolation; social uphill climb
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 2:25 am
Feeling better inside
   Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:28 pm
Money
   Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:38 am
An interest in the arts
   Tue Jun 18, 2019 9:39 am
Social
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:32 pm
intimacy 2
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 4:02 pm
intimacy
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:51 am
Identity overwhelmed
   Sun Jun 16, 2019 10:22 am
re changing the present
   Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:45 pm
Working out of it; the struggle continues
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 4:14 pm
A new segment of life
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:07 am
dealing with life from zero to 18
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 8:13 pm
Connecting to things in the real world
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:53 am
Things are changing
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 4:43 am
I have to believe more
   Sat Jun 08, 2019 10:24 pm
liking myself and dating
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 8:46 pm
Dissociation
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 4:58 pm
Love
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:05 pm
Purpose
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 7:27 pm
Happiness
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:04 am
bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 8:03 pm
Bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 5:57 am
Childhood reconnection;
   Sat Jun 01, 2019 4:26 pm

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Im interested in a wife!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:55 am

Its an interesting thing when a man says he wants a wife! This is a good sign and a sign of recovery! For wanting a wife means one thing; unconditional love!
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Unconditional love; is it possible!
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With all the hate Ive been through; is it possible to love anything!
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Im working on something; a direction; unconditional love toward a women; specifically; who ever will be my wife! This is hard! not easy! its literally hard!
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Im working with the universe for a wife! She's looking for me; Im looking for her!
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Unconditional love is an act of bravery! Im not sure I have bravery; Im a coward! So; things are exceptionally hard for me!
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The idea is to want to live and live life and have unconditional love for my wife; I remember what this was like! And I want a friend; her friendship! I kind of remember! thats what Im looking for!
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Im looking for myself! Im looking to connect with myself and connect with my inner being! Im scared and mis trusting!
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Im very scared' it will take courage! ITs takes courage to love; the love has to emanate from me! its not something I get from others; its a force within me and it flies out of me! and I am a ball of enthusiasm when around others; Ive been their before, a long time ago!
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Ive learned a few things since the last time I loved; don't tell a soul about it! Just take care of business and work with the universe!
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I know the direction; The support come from 12 step meetings but very few people!
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Im basically alone! so; I have to work with the universe on every front!
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Hatred and anger and resentment and judgment of others; This has to go; all of it! it can go; its lingering in me; but has no reason to be their! Ive worked on anger and resentment! A new life is abounding for me; I must get over the old one and the old thoughts and memories! the horror of long term attainment of evil! meaning; I was forced into evil! now; Im wanting to let go of the defense's that sustained my life to fight against it! I fought the good fight and I was destroyed! Now; I would like to live! I won the fight; now its time to let go of it and move on; I want a wife!
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So; working toward getting a wife; I cant be a fake! I have to come back to life and have personality! This is going to be hard! I have to love life! its possible! it starts in my heart and my thoughts! its possible with much work!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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