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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1036
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1109)
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- November 2020
emotions starting to bleed out; This is good
   Thu Nov 26, 2020 7:11 pm
Anxiety and dealing with the opposite sex
   Wed Nov 25, 2020 7:52 am
The work is over my head; but thats OK
   Wed Nov 18, 2020 8:35 am
Wont let the people I love into my life...
   Tue Nov 17, 2020 5:45 am
Social and feeling worthy
   Mon Nov 16, 2020 4:21 pm
Loving myself for real
   Fri Nov 13, 2020 5:15 pm
Moving onward
   Fri Nov 13, 2020 1:29 pm
And her vision keeps getting closer
   Wed Nov 11, 2020 11:19 am
On moving on and creating a new life
   Sun Nov 08, 2020 9:53 pm
Breaking the dating barrier
   Sat Nov 07, 2020 6:22 pm
Back to the drawing board with women
   Thu Nov 05, 2020 2:53 am
Changes are occurring; still isolated and lonely
   Tue Nov 03, 2020 6:13 am

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Im heading into a new life!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Sep 22, 2016 8:53 am

Im heading into a new life!

With all the work Ive done; Im shocked that Ive been alone! IVe been completely alone almost the whole of the recovery experience! 20 years or more of it! crazy!

The other day; in a meeting, I was making this women laugh! later, I walked strait over to her; sat right by her, told her to give me her number and I would call her! she did! she had been acting like a princess of importance! Good looking!

I called the number! it was a lie! the whole thing was a put on! from the beginning! but I stopped it! I stopped it from continuing at my expanse! Im no women's friends zone! that does not mean Im not friends! but a women who attempts to play games with my status level will be put in her place on the spot! and I assume not coming back!

This women has lost her interest in me completely! her game of fame did not work on me!

I realized; today, Im around a bunch of criminals! thats all IVe been around for 20 years!

Im now starting to move into a new direction! For the first time, tomorrow, Ill be talking to my therapist about breaking through the art barrier that has held me most of my life! It never occurred to me to break through it! It never occurred to me to seek help! to ask for help! it never occurred to me that I could not make it in the real world, but I cannot! not with out alot of help getting things straitened out!

This is an example of the problem; Imagine you were smart and could get an A in a class! However, every time you took a class, you got a D or an F! and you could not break this situation! This is juts an example! Im not taking any classes at the moment! The same problem occurs for me in art! I cant get past drawing a few pictures! Yet, I would like to be an artist! So, Im going to therapy to break the blockade on my art! Im tired of wanting to do something but have limiting beliefs about it!

The point; Im serious! thats the point! I want the problem stopped and I want to be an artist! I want my work in a gallery!

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When a women is good looking and flaunting herself around! and she gets used to being around weak men that flatter her and cater to her; she gets used to men scared of her looks! gives her power! not my business! until this dishonesty comes my way! then I will do something about it! Ill get up, walk over with pen and paper or cell phone ready, " give me your number, , ill call you"! or, " your cute" give me your number"! The point! she wont be coming over around me anymore! no will she see me in her friends zone like she manipulates with the others! Its fine with me! its not true friendship when a women tries to up her status above yours! Im being kind; not weak!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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