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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
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- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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Im heading into a new life!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Sep 22, 2016 8:53 am

Im heading into a new life!

With all the work Ive done; Im shocked that Ive been alone! IVe been completely alone almost the whole of the recovery experience! 20 years or more of it! crazy!

The other day; in a meeting, I was making this women laugh! later, I walked strait over to her; sat right by her, told her to give me her number and I would call her! she did! she had been acting like a princess of importance! Good looking!

I called the number! it was a lie! the whole thing was a put on! from the beginning! but I stopped it! I stopped it from continuing at my expanse! Im no women's friends zone! that does not mean Im not friends! but a women who attempts to play games with my status level will be put in her place on the spot! and I assume not coming back!

This women has lost her interest in me completely! her game of fame did not work on me!

I realized; today, Im around a bunch of criminals! thats all IVe been around for 20 years!

Im now starting to move into a new direction! For the first time, tomorrow, Ill be talking to my therapist about breaking through the art barrier that has held me most of my life! It never occurred to me to break through it! It never occurred to me to seek help! to ask for help! it never occurred to me that I could not make it in the real world, but I cannot! not with out alot of help getting things straitened out!

This is an example of the problem; Imagine you were smart and could get an A in a class! However, every time you took a class, you got a D or an F! and you could not break this situation! This is juts an example! Im not taking any classes at the moment! The same problem occurs for me in art! I cant get past drawing a few pictures! Yet, I would like to be an artist! So, Im going to therapy to break the blockade on my art! Im tired of wanting to do something but have limiting beliefs about it!

The point; Im serious! thats the point! I want the problem stopped and I want to be an artist! I want my work in a gallery!

=======================================================================

When a women is good looking and flaunting herself around! and she gets used to being around weak men that flatter her and cater to her; she gets used to men scared of her looks! gives her power! not my business! until this dishonesty comes my way! then I will do something about it! Ill get up, walk over with pen and paper or cell phone ready, " give me your number, , ill call you"! or, " your cute" give me your number"! The point! she wont be coming over around me anymore! no will she see me in her friends zone like she manipulates with the others! Its fine with me! its not true friendship when a women tries to up her status above yours! Im being kind; not weak!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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