Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (951)
Archives
- July 2019
A place exists
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 11:21 pm
Things are changing again
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:41 pm
Things are heating up; Im now backing down
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 9:06 am
I have CPTSD
   Wed Jul 17, 2019 4:47 pm
Real changes are occurring
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:46 am
Coming back into the present
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:32 am
Im extremely frustrated
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:14 pm
Fining myself or facing myself
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:39 pm
Im beginning to understand
   Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:30 pm
Visualizing
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:28 pm
Starting from the beginning
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:35 pm
The trap house part 2
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:13 pm
The trap house; I only knew about; In the end I win
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:15 am
Massive Mega paradigm shift
   Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:01 pm
First post recovery conversation
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:55 pm
Dating and Art
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:44 pm
movement
   Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:56 pm
childhood abandonment
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:23 pm
Being single
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:53 am
Preview: PTSD; High School
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:31 pm
Fear
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:34 pm
Ive found some answers
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:41 pm
D.I.D; let me introduce myself
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:23 pm
PTSD; dealing with triggers.
   Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:32 am
Making me into a loser; its all about the critical voice
   Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:08 pm
Molding sound like clay; having reasons; Things are changing
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:25 pm
critical voice
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:38 am
Toxic shame
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 11:05 pm
Ive found some answers
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

Im getting very close

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Fri Jun 21, 2019 1:25 am

Im getting very close; What does that mean?
.
As the resistance to my new memories or the positive memories take interest; the resistance to life slowly falls away. I believe Im achieving memories with out the horror. What does this mean? The memories are not connected to the monsters of the same time period or the bad circumstances. I wanted to feel; but not the insecurity to go with it; the insecurity of being thrown away with no home or future.; this is not attached.
.
One main problem; I get positive emotion and thought from past memories; The problem is; I was a little boy and Im getting his memories back; But he didn't have to worry about a car or house or food or clothing.
.
At times Im feeling satisfied; but I feel blocked; because I need more then an eight year olds memories to survive; so; Im appreciative of these memories; but I need a whole new set of thoughts heading toward the practical.
.
.
Im not satisfied yet; Something is missing; I don't feel whole and complete with a satisfying life; I will have to ask the universe about this; what does my life look like; a satisfying life; what does it look like.
.
If someone came up to talk to me; I would feel shame; mainly because Im not doing well financially; Im not making any commitment to doing what I want.
.
I feel ashamed of the lack of money. I want to tell people and show people Im financially successful. And this is hard; but I will tell the universe and see what new directions or thoughts show up. Actually , I feel financial starvation.
.
"Im not making any commitment to do what I want"; This is a great answer; this is perfect; can you hear it; hear the block or feel it like I do. Can you sense the bottle neck. I can feel it; the fear; the anger, the rage; the horror; the hostility. I feel it all over the place. This is where the work is; in commitment. Ive got a problem with commitment. ITs very hard and very scary. I don't like to put myself out where i can be attacked or abandon. What do I do; My emotions well up into a dissociative dysfunctional ball. So, this is where the work is.
.
Ive noticed something to; I need a car for doing the things I want to do; its things like a car that make the difference; and I want the help from the universe; I want the pathway unfolding. I can see myself going and doing fun things if I had a car. I could go off and camp or swim or mountain bike; the problem is; I take it to the universe and never get a money answer; it never shows up; the pathway to what I want; I don't understand.
.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 207 times

Who is online

Registered users: Bing [Bot], birdsong87, Exabot [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, IainEtc, Majestic-12 [Bot], ocdistheworst, OMNICELL, wc24x7