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OMNICELL
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Consumer 6
 
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Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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Im finally starting to figure somethings out

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Sep 03, 2020 10:26 am

Im finally getting it.... what does that mean; it means ive gained enough experience to know what is important and what is not. I know what works and what does not; I know the shiny candy and I know the shiny candy that is poisoness and its still poisoness
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What ive learned about women; There are 2 types of women; those you associate with and those you dont. Either Can be beautiful and hot and sexy and perfect examples of every mans desire. But there are 2 types of women; one you associate with and 1 you dont.
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Ive let go of the last women I was interested in; it turned into a horrible nightmare like the rest of them but I got out early because I could get to damaged. I spent more of my time watching and observing and learning then actually participating... I watched; I watched how un loyal people unravel.... I learned many things. I learned of their serious treachery and how I was glad I was on the other side of it but still watched it. I observed. They are pure evil; not just the girl but her new boyfriend as well... but I knew little about him or her actually; and I covertly walked away never to return.... but I learned valuable lessons.
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What did I learn;
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Im a nice guy; they may be nice people as well; but I dont think so. in fact; they are not so nice people; but not so nice people need to be loved 2. IF they dont get what they want; they cheat; simple. Who do they attract; covert people of the same nature; people who smile and act all innocent but deep down inside they Are monsters like their parents.
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So; this women is not real... she was an observation tower for me; nothing else; a view to learn from. and man did I learn. I learned a great deal.
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Nice guys like me date nice girls; no other choices.
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So; my frequency has to move up the latter and ive been beat up enough from the others side of the tracks; ill move to a new location of people; meaning; its time to hang with nice regular people.
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I was looking for relationships with the wrong people but did not get it yet; now I get it.
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I had people that liked me but they were the wrong people; they needed to be around people like themselves and I needed to be around nice people like me.
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When I was young I made the same mistakes; hanging around the wrong group of people; dangerous to my mental health and at times physical; but I never knew this at the time. I had it slammed in my face; I know it now. I never understood when younger; I was 2 innocent to understand. They were not nice people. Non of them; and that was the problem.
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Now; I dont have any interest in spending my time with un faithful un loyal people who are serving only their own self interests at my expense. When I no longer serve their purposes; they are no longer loyal to me at any level. They were only acting loyal at first to get things.
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So; as for the girl I fell in love with; no go! Not Loyal.
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I learned that I cant change anyone even if they want emotional love like everyone else. I cant change them... What does that mean; it means walk away once I get enough experience learning im around the wrong people to start with. But she was my soulmate; yes she was. She was sincere about her feelings for me; yes she was; when she felt them at that moment of expecting to get something; but when they dont get what they want the way they want it; they start monkey branching and looking into the other guys in waiting.... They have convenience loyalty. What does That mean; it means Im an opportunity. When or if that opportunity dries up or costs to much to be a member; they switch lanes covertly and end up in the arms of another man. They wont tell you or show it; in fact; they will keep playing the role of being single for awhile. And start using me like im of no value or importance; they've decided im a weakling. I pull back and evaluate the situation.
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What I learned; the problem is; the type of people I want relationships with are of better qualities; and to be around anything less then better quality is a waist of time... So; I was waisting my time and now im moving on; she is another book chapter with the other 11 chapters of the past... Im now moving on to the future and the present and ill call for another soulmate.
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Of importance; where I meet her. What kind of women do I want to meet; I must go where that kind of women hangs out..... if I want a concert pianist; I hang out with the concert pianists; that kind of thing; so I have my work cut out for me as too the kind of person I want; where I would like to meet them.
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Heres the point of the blog; ; Im laying down; its 3 in the morning; im safe; the past is gone; im Purdy much in the present writing this blog... and ready to start over; that mission ive written about its over; im on to another chapter of my life. im safe; ive learned what im suppose to learn from this episode and im moving on with my life to the next one. I learned what im suppose to learn.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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