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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1003)
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- August 2019
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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Identity

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Tue Sep 22, 2015 3:41 pm

Im trying to get over the past! A past created by a psychopath that was in control of my life from birth!

I am not around these psychopaths anymore! However, their damage lives with in every blood vessel that flows through my nervous system!

Fear, bulling and intimidation; these flow through me as I think or am reminded of the sociopaths! And the psychopaths I dealt with!

My nervous system was ruined being around them!

It is not personal; what they did! All things they did to me, they would have done to you if you were in my situation!; yet, this is the hardest part of letting go!

Admitting that you wont let go of the psychopaths is a hard thing! You don't want to let them go; they are the only anchor points you have of your life! Yet, they wanted it that way! Thats how they still control you! And they want that bulling psychopathic control over you!

You mean nothing to a psychopath! Children are used a complete objects! It's a ######6 horrible ordeal! One of the worst you can go through; truly in humane!

All of it was in humane!

Im attempt to recover from it!

Drugs and alcohol I tried! Although hooked; I got off them and into recovery! Im very lucky my potential for such things did not get over the top! It got over top just enough to get me in the recovery rooms! Im grateful to be in the recovery rooms!

I am frightened and scared of everything and anything outside! Its hard to allow others around me that might control me out of my life!

Its hard dealing with authority figures! Or any one that could take control and use me or hurt me!

I was thrown away from everything and every one of my past life! My childhood life! It was a stunning horrible experience!

Although I want to blame others; ultimately, it all traces back to the psychopaths!

The goal is to see the past for what it really was; not as I would have it! And this is exceptionally hard as I was a child and have childhood memories of everything!

Being a child; you see things with hope and you make things fun; even in the face of adversity!

I could not manage for ever! I fell short after a few years, long before I was out of my school years! I dissociated into mental illness! By the time I was 18 I could not function!

However, this is normal for people who are brought up or forced to live around psychopaths!

Its hard to admit that psychopaths destroyed my life! I never wanted it this way! But I never saw the big picture! It was doomed from the beginning!

Now, Im attempting to reaffix everything! Go back into my childhood and reaffix it and reframe it without the bad people, or snob people! Learn to see it for what it was and move on to a life I was supposed to have!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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