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Consumer 6
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Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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- November 2020
The work is over my head; but thats OK
   Wed Nov 18, 2020 8:35 am
Wont let the people I love into my life...
   Tue Nov 17, 2020 5:45 am
Social and feeling worthy
   Mon Nov 16, 2020 4:21 pm
Loving myself for real
   Fri Nov 13, 2020 5:15 pm
Moving onward
   Fri Nov 13, 2020 1:29 pm
And her vision keeps getting closer
   Wed Nov 11, 2020 11:19 am
On moving on and creating a new life
   Sun Nov 08, 2020 9:53 pm
Breaking the dating barrier
   Sat Nov 07, 2020 6:22 pm
Back to the drawing board with women
   Thu Nov 05, 2020 2:53 am
Changes are occurring; still isolated and lonely
   Tue Nov 03, 2020 6:13 am

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Identity; Identify

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Oct 18, 2015 4:16 pm

Im beginning to see a picture!

First thing I have to do is forgive my brother fully, from the beginning; completely! Until he is no more! Until I forget him!

He was never what I thought he was! He was a bad person! He never got help for his problems! He never tried! Ever! I tried, he did not! He has no conscious! I do not know him! But I turned to him because I was lonely and in trouble! I did not know he was not respectable! He is a crook; like so many! I am not!

He used, me! Spitefully persecuted me! Stole from me! Why then, would I want to spend time around him! what bothers me is not the present age, but the past

Looking back at my brother! He was no brother! I should have been scared of him but I did not know the difference! I have to learn the difference!

I had built my life once; with independence! I must get back that same attitude, and get it away from vengeance! I must forgive all people until I forget I ever met them! I did not know they would turn on me!

As for my brother, he is a stranger and always was; he is a sociopath! And must understand that he always was! His problems are none of my business! He should have taken his problems to a shrink and get some help! He did not!

Looking back; Its horrible! I was interacting with these people; him, as if I came from a troubled family! I did not come from a troubled family! Their was no family! There were a bunch of sociopaths and murder's or the equivalent!

I do not need to squabble over inheritance that was stolen! But it's going to take a while to forgive this one and gain sanity and walk away from it! But I must! It's not what it appears to be! I must walk away and trust God and start my life somewhere else! Relearn how to talk to people and be a human being again! And forget where I came from! But first, I must work through where I came from until it is thoroughly inventoried with a fine took comb!

Back to the beginning and far reaches of my childhood; to the beginning of lies that were pushed upon me! It was all unsafe because of the monsters running the show! All of it was a circus show that had to come down! Or they brought it down! And I lost my life! My young life! All of it! But it was not personal!

These scum never had the human qualities to take human from someone else! They never saw me! Its incredible! But they didn't! And surprisingly, they never knew anything about me or what I did! Nor did they think about it! They did not know who they are dealing with! They knew nothing about me! Nothing! I was a complete stranger they were taking advantage of!

Its about forgiveness from the beginning and gaining my sanity back! This is hard! But, I had an original direction in this life! And it was attacked, or I was attacked and pulled away from myself by bad people!

I blame myself; so know, I must humble myself and look at all of it to let go of the pride, so I can get back to normal and stay away from the perpetrators of this world! It's demeaning and humiliating! I saws scared and never stood up for myself! I was sickened by these scumbags ever associating with me in the first place; they were all sociopaths!

Should I remember or remain to go forward in the direction of people that stole from me! Should I have vengeance or move forward away from them! Allowing them to keep what they stole!

I am not in powered to do anything to anyone!

The way I see it; I should have never met any of these people in the first place! None of them! That is the problem! They are not my people! They are all filthy ######6 scumbags and nothing more! Liars and thieves!

Should I spend my time as a vigilantly against these people! No! Mistake! Don't do it! Go back to the beginning and see where and what I was supposed to become and get rid of all memories of association with these people! All of it! From the beginning! The problem is; Im seeing these people from the eyes of a child! A small loving caring sensitive child who is being destroyed!

I cling to these people because they are all that I have! So, I love them with all my heart! I do not know they are filth scum bags that are causing all the problems! I had no idea what I was living with ! The type of monsters!
It's my responsibility to know who I am living with! Who I was living with! The kind of people!

It's my responsibility to move out or move on! I had nothing to start with, but did not know it!

Im trying to "know it" to wake up to it! I have to go back to the earliest ages and let go of these tramps! They are worthless scum who had no business in my personal life in the first place! They were dangerous! And so are their families and associates! They are dangerous to me because they are filth!

I have to know what Im dealing with!

I have to let go of all association of these people! All of them! They are not my family! They never were! And I must see it this way!

The goal is not vengeance! Not spend 10 years in court with them! But move on; move down the right area of my life' spending my energy on my life work and direction and forgetting about what those people should pay me back or what they stole! If God wants vengeance, he must give me back what they stole! If not; then God will supply me with what I need to create a new life!

I must let go and let God! I must head down my original path!

Forgiveness is everything; all day long, until I forget about these people and where I came from! All the misery they put me through!

I did not know I would be completely abandon! I did not know the kind of scumbags I was dealing with; I must see them for what they are and move on! Not worry about what someone owes me! Forgive and God will supply the rest! I must practice !

To keep my identity; I must forgive and move on, leaving all things behind; all of them! No attachments to anything; I must look deeper from earlier times and become me again without their help! Without their involvement, forgetting I was ever associated with such worthless filth! I must start before I met them!

Dissociative Disorder
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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