I have given many people a chance! I stand corrected and understand the futile nature of my direction!
I turn back to God in confusion! IVe done it again! Ive attempted to interact with the human race; one more time with no gain! I was simply but in my place and thrown out! I was ignored as if of no value!
What Im learning!
When someone has no value for you; leave! Its taken me months to wake up! " Im not wanted"! Some times you have to be kicked in the face before you believe it! You don't want to believe it; you want the fantasy to go on for ever! But the other person is not playing in your fantasy! I meant nothing to them! And they never wanted me in their life in the first place! They never asked me in their life in the first place!
I gave them plenty of chances! They did not know what I was talking about; they never invited me into their lives! So, what was I doing their! I was I in someones life who never invited me in the first place! And that is a question of loneliness and greed and anger and hate and earth and entitlements!
Im judged to death!
Women; don't seem to get me; don't seem to like me! Don't seem to like that fact I stand for something and don't give a ###$ who they are! And I don't! To me; their just ######6 girls! And thus, it shall always be! Like it is supposed to be! Im a ######6 guy! Thats how guys look at girls! They always have;! And always will!
Im not good enough; so, I turn back to God! I don't play games with women! I simply walk away and disappear forever!
I turn back to God and see where he wants me to be! I simply turn back to God! And tel God Im sorry for failing! I tried to get their interest! They did not want it! Nor did they want me or value me; nothing!
You have to value the inside of me from the beginning or we have nothing! You either respect who is here or nothing! And I mean, nothing!