Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1029)
Archives
- December 2019
Vile hatred and anger.
   Thu Dec 12, 2019 4:18 pm
more changes ahead.
   Sun Dec 01, 2019 4:49 pm

+ November 2019
+ October 2019
+ September 2019
+ August 2019
+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

I know Im in the right place to do art; and other things

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Fri Jul 26, 2019 5:08 am

I can sense my worth level and Im feeling it. Im feeling things at a significant high tight level; its a real thin line; Im reaching up and Im in their. I can feel it; that inner edge..
.
I felt it on my bike while crossing the street; I could feel it. Art. real art. I was ready. I could feel it; it was great. It was very close to what Ive been feeling; but this was a little further; like a bullet in the chamber is ready to fire; and the path of least resistance has aligned itself; its ready... ',
.
6th grade is getting in the way; its a time period that has to be written about and the universe has to open up to me; its a time period that has to be dealt with and understood and felt and remembered and then the universe will start filling it with grass and over flowing it into obscurity; like its been doing with all my bad memories of childhood. My memories of the past are starting to be taken over by tall ever rising grass... In my memories; houses and kitchens and bad people and living rooms are starting to become filled with grass; as it slowly grows around everything. And at some point; the grass will make everything disappear.
.
I was right in place for art; it happened today as I was crossing the street. does it mean Ive started Art; no! It means Ive moved forward into catching up with myself; my inner self and energy me are aligned with each other. Me and my inner being; we are aligned concerning art. And it happened on a bicycle on the way to the coffee shop.
.
.
And other things Im working on; Im working on the plans that allow me to see the pathways to my Asian soulmate wife/family. Im working on it; new stories and strategies; I write them as if they have already led me to my Asian wife and Ive been enjoying her company for 1 year. And writing like this takes allot of time; it is not easy.
.
Step by step; each step leading to the other in the real world created by the imagination; each step; one after the other; leading to its finally destination; from me to my family; My Asian wife....
.
Im writing up stories and making pictures of her. Creating songs about her. creating clay figures of her as if she is already here.
.
Putting dish-ware out on the table with a chair as if she is eating with me tonight. Making room for her in my bed. And many more things to try....
.
.
Im not sure when Ill start art; Ive been visualizing as if I have a canvas in my head and Im drawing on; it need much more practice then this.
.
Weight loss; Im scared; if I loose weight; I might get relationships with women; Im scared to death; Im scared to loose the weight.
.
The realities of weight when your old. I am old and the realities are this; anything I eat that I have no exorcized with an equal amount of athletics; stays in my system as fat. that means I can gain 20 pounds in a month if Im just sitting around eating; this truly sucks. When I was young I could eat all day and ride a mountain bike hard all day and not gain an ounce.
.
I've gained 30 pounds; Im in shape; good shape for loosing weight. I lost 10 pounds and gained 15 back.
.
.
biggest issue; a change of diet. I have to eat 10 times less then Im eating and I have to eat good food and slow burning food that will stop my appetite.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 858 times

Who is online

Registered users: Bing [Bot], Elastic Heart, Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, MSN [Bot], Notlookingback, regret1793, TheRoseSystem