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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1025)
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- November 2019
Social skills improving
   Thu Nov 07, 2019 12:51 am
My goal is to work through adolescence.
   Fri Nov 01, 2019 9:16 pm

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I have allot to learn about bad people!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sat Oct 06, 2018 7:02 am

Some of the meetings I go to have bad people! They are arrogant and evil; thats the best way to describe them! More importantly! is how I describe myself being around them! Im still wanting their attention because I want to see them as good people that are not accepting me; because thats how I saw my original family when young! I have to wake up and get out of their!
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Im slowly starting to wake up and feel the toxic horror of being around these filth! And yet; I want to be accepted by them; and thats the problem!
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As I wake up; I realize what Im dealing with; No conscious or shallow conscious to the point of personality disorder; a bunch of them! The question is; I want to be part of them and accepted and I dont know why! I guess I want to be loved by them! and their it is; thats the first dysfunction! ITs like wanting to be loved by my captures! I made a mistake of innocence to be around them in the first place! Im now feeling the pain of being around them! Im expecting them to change and become nice people! They were never nice people to begin with!
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Why am I chasing after bad people for; they are like the first family system I came from! Im trying to re create my first family system! And Im sick; and thats whats most important!
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As I wake up and feel better about myself; Im mad that Im in a place that these filth have taken over! However, it was their hovel in the first place; not mine; thats what Im having a hard time with!
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I have to work with the universe to slowly get me out of their and onto a new life!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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