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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (954)
Archives
- July 2019
Identity 101; so; it officinally begins; the rebuilding
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 2:25 am
Something positive is happening
   Sat Jul 20, 2019 11:54 pm
The Beatles
   Sat Jul 20, 2019 6:04 am
A place exists
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 11:21 pm
Things are changing again
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:41 pm
Things are heating up; Im now backing down
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 9:06 am
I have CPTSD
   Wed Jul 17, 2019 4:47 pm
Real changes are occurring
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:46 am
Coming back into the present
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:32 am
Im extremely frustrated
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:14 pm
Fining myself or facing myself
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:39 pm
Im beginning to understand
   Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:30 pm
Visualizing
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:28 pm
Starting from the beginning
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:35 pm
The trap house part 2
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:13 pm
The trap house; I only knew about; In the end I win
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:15 am
Massive Mega paradigm shift
   Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:01 pm
First post recovery conversation
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:55 pm
Dating and Art
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:44 pm
movement
   Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:56 pm
childhood abandonment
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:23 pm
Being single
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:53 am
Preview: PTSD; High School
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:31 pm
Fear
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:34 pm
Ive found some answers
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:41 pm
D.I.D; let me introduce myself
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:23 pm
PTSD; dealing with triggers.
   Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:32 am
Making me into a loser; its all about the critical voice
   Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:08 pm
Molding sound like clay; having reasons; Things are changing
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:25 pm
critical voice
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:38 am
Toxic shame
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 11:05 pm
Ive found some answers
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

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I have allot to learn about bad people!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sat Oct 06, 2018 7:02 am

Some of the meetings I go to have bad people! They are arrogant and evil; thats the best way to describe them! More importantly! is how I describe myself being around them! Im still wanting their attention because I want to see them as good people that are not accepting me; because thats how I saw my original family when young! I have to wake up and get out of their!
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Im slowly starting to wake up and feel the toxic horror of being around these filth! And yet; I want to be accepted by them; and thats the problem!
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As I wake up; I realize what Im dealing with; No conscious or shallow conscious to the point of personality disorder; a bunch of them! The question is; I want to be part of them and accepted and I dont know why! I guess I want to be loved by them! and their it is; thats the first dysfunction! ITs like wanting to be loved by my captures! I made a mistake of innocence to be around them in the first place! Im now feeling the pain of being around them! Im expecting them to change and become nice people! They were never nice people to begin with!
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Why am I chasing after bad people for; they are like the first family system I came from! Im trying to re create my first family system! And Im sick; and thats whats most important!
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As I wake up and feel better about myself; Im mad that Im in a place that these filth have taken over! However, it was their hovel in the first place; not mine; thats what Im having a hard time with!
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I have to work with the universe to slowly get me out of their and onto a new life!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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