I have an authentic problem trusting women! a real fear; because they dont seem to care who I am as a human being! their not safe for human beings to be around! They dont prove themselves to anyone; its freaky and uncanny!
.
I have to look at what Im trying to attract!
.
I dont like the idea of needing or wanting women! but at the same time; Im suppose to need and want women; In a normal world; theirs nothing wrong with this; its healthy!
.
I dont like deceptive people! I want to know who Im dealing with!
.
Im trying to get back to a place within myself that will be at the same energy level of the women I want to deal with!
.
Its hard; I have no money! This is horrible for me; for my reputation or how I feel about myself! I have to work with the universe to bring the right people around me! I hate this!
.
I think; I hate the idea that money or no money; its not enough excuse for not having a women in my life! i either want one in my life or I dont!
.
Ive not wanted one in my life; Im scared to death to get the wrong one or go after someone and have them laugh at me because I was picking the wrong person!
.
I might have to attempt to pick a few women that end up the wrong ones until I get the right ones!
.
Many women are deceptive! Or; many people are deceptive! and I have to ask several out until I find the right people! I might be way out of reality when it comes to women!
.
I dont like opening myself up to the wrong people! I hate it! I just want people to trust; decent people!
.
I want to go out with the right people!
.
So; I will be in the thick of it! and keep going because thats my social plan! and this is part of the problem; I have to see this as; I want a relationship and I have to decide thats what I want and go after it! stick to it!
.
Im offended that I have to go after it! be this open and outgoing! It seems horrible and wrong! I want to hide; I hate this; is their no other way then to be open; I hate this open concept! thats whats driving me crazy! I feel crazy in this area! crazy!
.
AVPD!