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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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- July 2019
I have CPTSD
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Real changes are occurring
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Coming back into the present
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Im extremely frustrated
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Fining myself or facing myself
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Visualizing
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Starting from the beginning
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The trap house part 2
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The trap house; I only knew about; In the end I win
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Massive Mega paradigm shift
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First post recovery conversation
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Dating and Art
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movement
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childhood abandonment
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Being single
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Preview: PTSD; High School
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Fear
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Ive found some answers
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D.I.D; let me introduce myself
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PTSD; dealing with triggers.
   Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:32 am
Making me into a loser; its all about the critical voice
   Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:08 pm
Molding sound like clay; having reasons; Things are changing
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critical voice
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:38 am
Toxic shame
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 11:05 pm
Ive found some answers
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

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I have a hate problem with women!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Wed Sep 12, 2018 9:50 am

Im not sure; I have a hate problem with women; I think its a general hatred toward society; but its importance is with women simply because I want a soulmate! Something is wrong! I dont want a hate problem with women!
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I glanced at some pictures of women I have on one of my FB sites and felt hatred and contempt! real hate! and I thought! OK; whats that from! Is it from women; or what they stand for! an economic scale I cant complete with! something like that! Im not in their league no matter what I do! something like that! its like prejudice against me! I get tired of it after awhile! Im never good enough or seen by anyone!
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I have no idea where to fit in! Im not apart of society so I dont shine anywhere! regardless!
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Im working with the universe for a girlfriend! I have to change inside! I know allot of white women that like me; I want an Asian women; thats what is suppose to happen!
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I dont know; The culture Im from; a trauma culture is the one I should be associating with! I would say I love the women in that group! I mean; they dont cause me any harm! the rest of the world; I dont care about I guess! I dont know! I mean; I care about everyone but I have to care about myself first!
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Im trying to find myself! Im trying to find my people; those Im suppose to be around! Ive tried being around street level people in 12 step groups with drug problems and other problems; all I found were allot of thugs and thug princesses! No morals when it comes to relationships! they lead people on and break their hearts a thousand times; sociopathic! no conscious about dating one person and sleep with someone else at the same time or going after someone else in front of the person their with! its complete arrogance! and many of the women are like this! its crazy!
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Women dont need relationships to have babies! So; what do they need men for! They dont! They need them for quick relationships! thats the way it seems! I dont trust them; I dont trust women and I dont trust anyone! but I do trust people that prove themselves to me! but what does that mean!
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I guess what Im saying is; theirs allot of people out here I dont trust! I do trust some women and I do trust some of the guys Ive met in my life! but close friends; not to many!
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I guess what Im bitching about it; Im not sure where my next girlfriend is coming from! I have a clearer picture of who she is! what Im looking for! but I have no idea who she is or where she is coming from!
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Im told it does not matter; the universe supplies the how; I supply the " what I want and why"

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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