I must remember what I was like as a little boy; no on else was paying attention! I had no idea! I know I was slipping away as a child! I had no idea I was going to be thrown away and neglected!
The scum that did this to me had always been this way! I never knew! They tried to fool the neighborhood they lived in with a nice house location! It was all fake! All of it!
I had 2 brothers! I saw one the other day! He passed me by as if spitting in my face! What was interesting was my feelings when he walked by! I recognized those feelings from being young! When a boy, I remember this uneasy anxiety! And I felt it around him; so it must have came from him and the other members in this family system because they were all sociopaths in one form or another! Or being created into such monsters!
This brother I mention above; he is not a sociopath, but something in the middle! He is still not safe! He sees no human value in me; he is a degenerate; thats the best way to describe him!
I learned many years ago! If someone is bust'n on an honest person; then don't associate with them! These people have tried to dishonor me and demoralize me! Why?; because they are psychopaths, and sociopaths and something in between; and theirs your answer! My answer is to stop feelings anything for these vermin and stay away from them and go to God!
Im starting to understand the sad truth that I came from a molesting broken brutal home system that was blown apart; one of those sick families you watch on Youtube vids; vids of neglected or abused children! And the children that survive speak out! I did not know I was heading for this! I was! I simply dissociated out of reality completely for most of my life!
One must let go of these scum because its easy to take it personally; it's not personal! They do not know me! And they are not human! And there is no human support here!
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Im now working on my future! Im learning about creating my own ideas and desires and learning how to make them happen!