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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (950)
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- July 2019
Things are changing again
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:41 pm
Things are heating up; Im now backing down
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 9:06 am
I have CPTSD
   Wed Jul 17, 2019 4:47 pm
Real changes are occurring
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:46 am
Coming back into the present
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:32 am
Im extremely frustrated
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:14 pm
Fining myself or facing myself
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:39 pm
Im beginning to understand
   Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:30 pm
Visualizing
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:28 pm
Starting from the beginning
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:35 pm
The trap house part 2
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:13 pm
The trap house; I only knew about; In the end I win
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:15 am
Massive Mega paradigm shift
   Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:01 pm
First post recovery conversation
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:55 pm
Dating and Art
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:44 pm
movement
   Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:56 pm
childhood abandonment
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:23 pm
Being single
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:53 am
Preview: PTSD; High School
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:31 pm
Fear
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:34 pm
Ive found some answers
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:41 pm
D.I.D; let me introduce myself
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:23 pm
PTSD; dealing with triggers.
   Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:32 am
Making me into a loser; its all about the critical voice
   Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:08 pm
Molding sound like clay; having reasons; Things are changing
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:25 pm
critical voice
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:38 am
Toxic shame
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 11:05 pm
Ive found some answers
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

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How long has it been

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Aug 19, 2018 7:27 am

How long has it been since I've made out with a women! The trauma of my past as stopped me from any growth of interest in anything other then dealing with the nightmares inside me! Making out with women is a state of independence! I can feel it, or start to feel it; it means Im free in the present! and Im not their yet!
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Im starting to see myself making out with women; altho I dont know how this is going to happen; to step back into life and be that free! I really dont know; when Im trapped with the trauma of my past within me; dissociatively!
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I have tower with the universe for quality women to show up.
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quality women showing up; I have to work with the universe to either attract them or be in the right place for them to find me! I have to be a quality person; that I am; I am a quality person! But not a fake; I cant be a fake; Have to be myself and then attract intelligent people around me!
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I have allot of work to do with the universe!
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IVe had women at the meetings like me; but they never show up anywhere else! I never see them anywhere else! I dont want to pick women up at the meetings! and I have the sick sinister feeling about them; their not thinking about me; only themselves; I can tell this by many examples! they are searching to get fed! They are not interested in me! and their not interested in their children; and they continue to be in relationships as before; nothing has changed; they find a new man; have a new set of children by that man and then things fall apart; of course it has nothing to do with them; and they never mention the condition of the children; only that their own lives are hurting; they mention nothing about the damage of the child because their is no mother; its ######6 sickening! People like this should get 20 years in the prison system! no conscious! and most of the time; Im dealing with women who have no conscious! In fact; my next soulmate search; meaning; when I reach out to source energy; should include as the main theme; a conscious; and see who I attract!
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What am I looking for in a women; An Asian-soulmate from Hawaii with a conscious!
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Im looking for a decent person of quality! Im a decent person; but a messed up person; Im scared because Im afraid others will not see my quality; they will judge me by my economic limitations! So; why bother! However, Im understanding that its more about trusting the universe!
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I have to work with the universe! This is where the fear is; its the universe that I do not trust; I see the universe as my mother the psychopath; and I see the universe as my father the sociopathic potential serial rapist; thats who I think is answering me every-time I reach out to the universe!
Last edited by Snaga on Mon Aug 20, 2018 3:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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