Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
Archives
- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

help ; negative feelings toward women!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Wed Mar 01, 2017 7:23 am

Im not liking this; but source energy is showing me this! I cant keep judging women to their face and expect them to like me! In fact, its bringing up a lot of negative energy and anxiety!

I was talking to this women today, and judging everything about her I could get my hands on! Yet, I wasn't doing any of to my knowledge at the time; I could feel it tho! later, as I prayed about it; i could see it! I was trying to work through my negative feelings toward women as I was trying to break the ice with this women and get to know her because I like her! So, isn't that messed up!

It is messed up and it didnt work! I was so nervous! I had been thinking bout her all week!~ I thought maybe God would teach me how to love again; and I would like to use her as my test drone! it didnt work! but I was able to finally start a conversation! however, I got the impression that she was not hurting like I was! I thought maybe she liked me! maybe! but she didnt I think!

She seems convenient to use as a love drone robot! meaning, a real person to love! That I could get back into emotionally loving someone! No one likes being used! I guess I just wanted to use her!

Im always afraid Im no good for anyone or to anyone! no one appreciates me! never has! not really!

Im learning to align myself with source energy and change! Im learning to turn to God at that moment when I think the other person does not like me!

Today, However, I was able, in the middle of this great anxiety; to talk to the person! but I could not answer her! I wanted to break the ice, but I was scared to show that I liked her! I was so afraid! and thats OK; I guess it will just take time for me to be around women again and relax!

I ws trying to break the ice! but I did not trust her in the sense; I was interested in someone being inline with me and God; not the other way around! Im not interested in being inline with her! Im interested in her being in line with the God I pray to and brought to me by God because she was called out for it to happen! I was looking for a soulmate! I guess I was just dream'n!

I do want to be inline with her! thats all I wanted! I like her! I guess I dont want to admit she does not feel the same way! she does not like me! I get the impression she feels nothing for me; she's just being friendly or a friendly person; meaning, my feelings mean nothing to her! I dont think she is sitting at home thinking bout me and how to align with me! I dont know!

I guess she is not the right one; However, I asked her how her day was going, and then she turned it on me and ask me how my day was going! and I could not really answer because I had never really broken the ice with her! This question was to open!

If God wants us around each other; he will have to make it happen! In the mean time; I will ask God or tell God about the other women in the world that I want to meet!

I have to keep working with God on what I want; not on whats missing! I have to keep the positive thoughts up! thats the real killer right now; negative thoughts! thats what needs to be worked on! Ill get their! She did not help! she was nervous and had anxiety!

I feel stupid! yet, Im finding its better to be out their trying then to be alone with a Goldfish!


I had allot of judgment toward her! and I think this causes great anxiety within me while being around her! its hard to feel something for some tint you have never broken the ice with!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 3895 times

Who is online

Registered users: Amythyst, AProphet, Bing [Bot], birdsong87, Chr0, Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, jj19, justonemoreperson, lilyfairy, mansnils, Tyler