Heading toward a new life! I have much healing to do! PTSD and dissociative disorder is still alive and well! Just smaller! Need much more work! But getting memories back! This is great!
Im heading toward living again! I have my childhood figured out! Most of the basics! I know what happened to me!
Teenage years! Still have much work; beginning relationships were chopped up mess! A schizophrenic kaleidoscope! Bulling destroyed me! No hope, no future, no family! Nothing! Drugs, mass depression! Disillusionment! Watching family system die and brothers die with it! Collapse of a family system that was thrown away! No development! Nothing! A destroyed period of time! A time of complete anxiety! Anxiety do to no growth! No development! just confusion! and sexual abuse in the beginning of it! loss with no hope
Now, Im slowly getting back dreams! And most of these dreams are from a child's point of view! Their very interesting because they are easily solved by me because I'm an adult! As a child I had no way of know how to connect to the world in order to solve these dreams or make them come true! so I of
It will be possible to get back these childhood dreams now; they were from my childhood and the future of make believe!
What happened to me is very bad! It was a genocide of a child's life! But thats what psychopaths do; soon, they destroy everything, and it gets worse! They want to murder! Then erase everything associated with it! Thats how they get rid of it!
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Alignment is my main goal! Alignment with what I want with with Universe! And the Universe will bring what I want if I send out a vibration of it! The goal is to decide what I really want and feel it! Really work on it with no blocks! I have to know my values; thats very important!
Im working on lyric writing right now! Trying to get back into the swing of writing lyrics!
I have to let others go ! I gain recovery in very ripplingly hard places! the people do not value me!
Its time to find other people and places and things!
I like attracting women! but I need a different kind of women!