Hatred hatred hatred; stuck up bitches! All of them! Stuck up opportunists at my expense! So, I find them attractive and they use that against me and try to manipulate me in to spit in my face!
I have allot of rage toward the psychopaths from my childhood! And from anyone that helped them; and general rage; or way beyond rage from my childhood! I should have this considering what happened!
Ive hardly started dealing with it! Any of what happened! Its like yesterday! It started almost 50 years ago! Everyone else got on with their lives! I was tripped up!
I have to look at this statement tripped up! My whole life was ruined because of this! However, I have to look at it differently, from another view! However, I also have to get this deep pain out! And call it what it is!
I have not been impressed with any women! None of them! Some of them I guess! But not much! But none of them think! Meaning; it seems they don't care! They don't have to look at the truth! I do; they don't! Why?! None of this makes any sense to me!
Life is not a game! People die and are destroyed out here! Why would I spend my time around a bunch of people with no values and they know no right or wrong! I refuse!
Ive met no women with any wisdom! Nothing! Its all emotional stuff with no sense of right or wrong!
Im also, emotional! But I have to learn right from wrong or I don't survive!
I guess Im mad about rejection! Ive had no women like me for what I am or who I am! Ive had a million be attracted to me!
Ive had the best looking women in any city like me! It shocked me at first! But I am or have been a guy that attracts women like this! And what have I found! 2/3 were married and or all had a man!
I have to let of steam built up; it needs to be let out! None of this socially makes any sense! None of them have been kind to me! Nothing! They are not kind people!
Maybe I had some dream about what I thought women were supposed to be and its turned out bad or wrong or different then what I thought it was supposed to be!
I know Im on the right track talking and letting out emotions! How am I supposed to find a wife soulmate if I hate women! None of this makes any sense!
When I say I " hate women"! An interesting feeling comes up! I don't see women has the blame! I see myself feeling hatred in an area where I was hurt! Thats where the pain is! I resent women for not taking care of me and bringing me back to life like they should! Thats what they were born for!
Women were born to take care of me!
Possibly, in reality, I really shouldn't know women unless I find the ones I want to date! But I cant find any to date! Maybe Im mad about this!
I CANT FIND ANY WOMEN TO DATE BECAUSE: THEY WILL THINK IM A LOOSER!
I know women will think Im a loser! Women are shallow! They've liked me for my looks! But did not know anymore about me!
I don't want women to like me for my looks! What good has it done! Its done nothing because none of them were ever single!
So, Im really ######6 pissed; Ive not been around the right women! And Im mad about it! And Im scared because; if I find myself around the right women; I might end up getting ######6 married!
I guess Im worried that Im going to be married! Im not good enough to be married? I'm going to feel the pain of having to like myself! Im really ######6 pissed of about someone forcing me to like myself? I will be forced into an agreement where marriage can be taken against me!
Dam! This is getting interesting! It's going in a direction I did not know existed!
Im mad because women wont accept me as a loser, but they will put a ball and chain around my neck and force me to become a winner and Im furious about it! I don't want the attention!
I do not want a women in charge of me! No way! It will never work! As soon as that starts! Ill have to get rid of her! And thats not who I wanted to go out with in the first place!
The pain Im feeling; Im seeing some visions; its about the right people! I don't feel good enough to be the right person for the level of women Im interested in and I dont know a thing about changing things to become that person! Im lucky to be alive!
My quality is still in me regardless of what Im doing in this life or how I look! The problem is; Im mot stupid enough to not know that a women can only see what she sees; what she's presented with! If I cant present myself, then whats the point!
and I have not been able to present myself to anyone; and it hurts and shocks me and freaks me out1
I have not been able to present myself to anyone yet!
Ive been round a bunch of people in recovery! And this doesn't count! Ive attracted allot of those women! And many of them are really nice! I mean this! They deserve to be with someone that will love them! But it wont be me! It just wont!
What about in the real world! I have nothing! Or, more importantly, Im going to have to open up and take chances with new people! And Im really mad at women in general for being forced to do this! Forced to climb a later to get to them! Its like going to the highest part of the tree for the best fruit!
What if?; What if Im laughed at and rejected! This is the other big chance taking thats causing problems!
And Im seeing more pain! What if I meet women; the right intellectual library hot girl! Meaning women! What if I do!
I see women as manipulating and wanting to take over but never asking any question as why someone is the way they are!
So, Im passive around women! And it a calculated reasoning; but women don't understand it!
Ive had some run Ins with stupid women! Man haters!
I seem to attract man haters! No wonder I seem or appear to hate women!
All I know; I have a massive amount of repressed anger and rage and hatred toward women at a deep deep deep level! They seem like traitors to my country!
I was thrown away and neglected and passed up! No one noticed me or cared!
I never liked women or trusted women; I just wanted them to get inline to my way of doing things and thinking! I felt my way was honorable! and yet, this mattered not to them; economics mattered more to them! they seem horribly shallow as a group!
I was not taken care of or noticed; I was thrown away! no one cared! no one loved me so why should I care now!
Ive been around for awhile now on this planet! generally, Ive seen no women take an interest in me! meaning, because Im a decent person!
ITs getting to the point that the only women I care about are the ones I might marry! the rest dont matter accept the teenagers that might kill themselves or be forced into it or anyone else with serious mental illness problems that they end up killing themselves; then it matters!
So, this is a start! Ive got to get the fear out! and get the fear of abandonment out! I dont trust women! I dont