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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
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- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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Hating women

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sat Oct 03, 2015 12:58 pm

I guess hating women is looked at as a weakness! I always thought of it as being honest! I wonder how God sees it!

I was called a women hater tonight in a meeting! It was a 12 step birthday! Meaning, a birthday at a 12 step recovery group!

I stem all hate toward women back to my mother! And thats a big load to take on for myself!

She involved herself in my personal life and then destroyed it! Or tried to destroy it!

The person who said this was looking for status with her other girlfriends! Nice people!

I go to these meetings for help! Not to be emasculated! But you have to learn where your at! You get what you take chances to get! Sometimes when you roll the dice, it comes up backwards!

At these meetings; it takes only a few weeks for the women to loose respect for me; the other women tell them things about me!

Don't touch him
He hates women!
He's a weakling nicey nice guy! " he's such a good guy"!

I refused to bang married women or those using dope! And Im not into deceptive women; so?

==================================================

Mother;

I have a definite problem with my mother! Getting over her and not hating other women for it! I do hate women! I hate all of them for what I saw them do! How I saw them treat my countryman!

They had no respect for my people; nothing!

I think they are evil! No conscious!

They don't seem to value that Im an honest man! So ###$ all of them!

Back to my MOTHER;

The work I must do with my mother is over the top!

I don't know where to start! And its triggered back onto regular!

How I had to deal with my mother was horrible l;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

My mother had to take care of me; I could not function on my own! To much PTSD problems!

I resented being around her! I hated her and I hated it! Fear; I had been sold down the river from way back! I did not want to be around these people any longer! They were attempting to allocate me to the bottom of the barrel of social class and acceptance! They were trying to create an inferior person! It did much damage and confusion! Now, I know what I was up against!

So, I was never free of her! I was always living with her!

I could never let go of the original family or the original experience! I was a human being! And it should be horribly hard! It is for a human being!

I was not around human beings; these were lawless monsters! Not at first; I did not recognize them! I did not know what I was dealing with!

I was slow in processing information! I was not getting enough experiences! No one was looking out for my future or development or well being! I did not understand! Now I understand!

-----------
I was living off of or with someone! I could not function on my own! I still cant! I cant deal with strait reality and no control over my future or what I do with my life!

I have resentments against this group for not preparing me for life! When I was all willing to do so! However, now I know what I was dealing with; so Im not the journey of letting go of them! Slow process!


---------

As for hating women; I wouldn't waist my breath on them! Meaning, I would not waist my time on women that actually deserved to be hated! Let someone else do it! Why would I waist my time with it!

There is a group of people that are my people; Im not sure who they are or where Ill find them!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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