Our partner

User avatar
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
Posts: 1036
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1109)
- November 2020
emotions starting to bleed out; This is good
   Thu Nov 26, 2020 7:11 pm
Anxiety and dealing with the opposite sex
   Wed Nov 25, 2020 7:52 am
The work is over my head; but thats OK
   Wed Nov 18, 2020 8:35 am
Wont let the people I love into my life...
   Tue Nov 17, 2020 5:45 am
Social and feeling worthy
   Mon Nov 16, 2020 4:21 pm
Loving myself for real
   Fri Nov 13, 2020 5:15 pm
Moving onward
   Fri Nov 13, 2020 1:29 pm
And her vision keeps getting closer
   Wed Nov 11, 2020 11:19 am
On moving on and creating a new life
   Sun Nov 08, 2020 9:53 pm
Breaking the dating barrier
   Sat Nov 07, 2020 6:22 pm
Back to the drawing board with women
   Thu Nov 05, 2020 2:53 am
Changes are occurring; still isolated and lonely
   Tue Nov 03, 2020 6:13 am

+ October 2020
+ September 2020
+ August 2020
+ July 2020
+ June 2020
+ May 2020
+ April 2020
+ March 2020
+ February 2020
+ January 2020
+ December 2019
+ November 2019
+ October 2019
+ September 2019
+ August 2019
+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

Hanging on

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Mar 13, 2016 1:47 am

ITs all very hard; all of this! I have nothing! I have to have 100% faith in God! If he does not fallow through! I do not care enough about this life to stay!

The times Ive believed is because I was 100% depending on God to believe!

Im tired of waiting on possibilities of what could happen or might happen! It's tiring! Its like being told; " just around the been, is your future, its almost here," and it never comes!

Im a decent person! Respectable!

Im not accepted anywhere! Money and shallowness rule my land! Real people, as myself, are worth nothing to the stupid! And I live in the land of stupidity! It's not all their fault! The higher up governing principle is corrupt! They are the head of this intrepid animal! The people suffer and don't know it!

Being treated badly is not my way of success! I call out to God for help! Im not sure how much more I can take! It's a very hard time!

I can depend on God but he must follow through! There are 2 many areas of my personal life that make no sense! I have no money! And this destroys almost all social life and talent life!

I assume most of my trouble is money! And or career! How I feel about myself!

I did not want to " like myself" and be poor at the same time!

Im tired of being nothing in everyones eyes! I have no value to people! I have a strange commodity value! But Im not valued! If I was dead tomorrow, no one would care! No one wanted to know me anyway! And they still don't! This is a matter of reason not emotion! I live in a land of idiots!

My value as a human being means nothing! No one cares! I have nothing! A shabby apartment; I cant even "beat off," in it without someone hearing me! It's not acceptable for human living!

I have no privacy! If I killed myself tomorrow; their would be no difference! It would go unnoticed!

The reason I stay alive is the possibility that God will follow through! What is the difference between meeting God in heaven or on earth! If I had the choice! What would I choose! If things get worse on earth, Ill find out what heaven is like!

I don't understand why people as myself must suffer so much while others prosper! Im working on it! But it pure faith in God; that is all I have! I have nothing else!

I do not understand why I have talents! What was the point?! Why does God continually allow me to know of these talents but I cannot use them!

I don't care if others don't now Im not here anymore! Thats not the point! The point is; I am Un-noticed completely as a human entity! I do not know what to do about it! I am not at an economic level of any importance to anyone!

I have no career! I have no place to use my talents! Im getting to tired of dealing with this; over n over n over! It makes no sense in telling any one I have talents!

Im expecting God to simply show up and do something about it! This is no life! None of this makes any sense!

Im slowly getting beat down trying to maintain my life! Im tired and have no joy in this! Non of this makes any sense to me! Nothing does!

Am I supposed to skip killing myself! Whats the difference! I have no life! God is not supplying a real life! Its like being fed through a coffin door! Whats the point!

Im a decent person! I would like a decent life please! I never took my life away in the first place; someone else did! I would like my life back please! Where do I go; How do I get it back! What do I do!
Im working on it! But Im not seeing the right results! Im getting attacked for being me! But, when I consider where I am! It does not surprise me! But how to I jump up to a higher level situation! I don't know!
Im asking God for help! I do not understand! How do I jump forward when I have no spring under my shoes!
I belong to no one and on one cares! " then God' " make me rich, so I do not need to interact with the morons of my time"!

There is and has never been any real family or friends! It was all fake! And the family system I came from was not a family system; it was a group of sociopaths and psychopaths and nothing more! Therefore, it is a place of demonic presence! It is a place of complete strangers and nothing more! What else am I supposed to do! And this system was technically dead or dying away by the time I was 5 or 6 years old! And I was being thrown away by this age! Abandon and forgotten!

How is a person like myself supposed to hang on! none of this makes any sense! nothing make any sense of this! its all crazy! all of it! nothing makes any sense out of this! it s all the same as it was before,

None of the people at any of the groups I go to understand me! I get bullied at these groups! I refuse to deal with these type of individual losers and their buddies who are starting such things!

Im at places that are not decent!

Ive been spit on by people as a loser! I was completely innocent! And it was whole communities! And I was innocent! They were not! They wanted to protect their economic interests and their love for money! For this is their God; not the real God of the Universe!

I have to turn to the real God of the Universe if Im going to survive!

Its hard waking up to nothing! Its enough to put someone back to sleep!

If all of this puts me back to sleep; why did I come; why was I born! I do not understand this!

My intelligence is useless as my talents are! Neither is practiced or worked! I simply spin around in a square room all day doing nothing! No skills! No development!

I cant develop skills in the streets! I have to have purpose and a place of intent of practice!

Ive gone over this with God so many times! Im given up! I just wait around for other things!

Im not sure I want to wait until Im 80 years old to finally have a place to practice a guitar in privacy! their seems something sickenly indecent about this whole thing!

Dissociative Disorder
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 3506 times

Who is online

Registered users: Bing [Bot], Dwelt, Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, lilyfairy, Majestic-12 [Bot], ShawTrav