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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1025)
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- November 2019
Social skills improving
   Thu Nov 07, 2019 12:51 am
My goal is to work through adolescence.
   Fri Nov 01, 2019 9:16 pm

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Going with out the meetings

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Tue Jan 08, 2013 9:18 pm

I had to leave. Id been there 15 years. That is what it took to help bring me back to sanity... Now I must leave.

Sooner or later girls start to like you and want you. However, in these meetings, the people are pathological. So if you hook up, you must hook up like a biker going after his drugs. Forceful with much sociopath in ya when you strike, if not you are considered a weakling, and shunned.. Then, the girl finds another sociopath to date in the meetings. They will harass you, and you will get to watch them make out in its various forms. Or they will try to talk to you has soon as they come through the doors, in order to control you out of the situation. Typical criminals. If you fall in love with one of these girls, its a sad affair. It has happened for me a few times. Im attempting to get over one of them now. The key is to keep forgiving over and over and over, and to write up what they did. How I feel about it, then what was my role. An example of my role would be: I talked to God about this girl, and God said no!, I did it anyway and now Im paying for it. She is demonic and not on the side of God. She is a criminal hiding behind a nice set of manipulations. She is beautiful and bouncy and this covers much trouble if one goes deeper.
She is 2 faced and I never saw it.. or, I wasn't listening that it is all about her and her interests and needs, and nothing about me.

I took an interest in her instead of ignoring her. Or, I should have asked her out on the spot when she was leaning in towards me.

The PTSD problems turn me into a hyper alert force field. I forget that the girl already picked me and its as easy as asking her out on the spot. Instead, It takes me 8 months and all kinds of problems to get to her. Finally I shut down, and someone else picks her up... and that is that. It is over as soon as it starts.
===========================================================================

I have PTSD problems and Dissociative Disorder. Its impossible to explain these things to the people in the meetings. When I shut down because of the PTSD problems, I have a small window of time to attempt to explain to the interested party what is going on. However, I cannot explain anything because Im shut down. In addition, the girl has a few other guys dangling on the rope, so if I don't follow through, she has others she can hook up with, within a short time.

Prepare yourself for the Sociopathic boyfriend:
Few things have made me sick until I witnessed the replacement boy friend to my original endeavors by the criminal girl of my dreams. She shows authentic love bursting through the disappointed eyes..

A Sociopath is an interesting animal, No rules, no thinking, no boundaries.. Nothing. Horrible. The only person that could hang with them are another sociopath, nothing more. I have been shocked with complete bewilderment that a girl that liked me could also hang with an authentic sociopath. It is the most unnerving thing I have ever witnessed or experiences. I don't feel sad. Scared is how I would call it... Thats how I felt , and confused...

It took me awhile to understand that the girl was a sociopath... This is complex stuff... Very strange. The sociopath wants to look good in the group... They will dump me for someone else, someone more popular. When All I was looking for was a friend.

I am worth nothing to these people after I have been replaced. I don't exist. Its about people playing people. Thats what they do in these meetings.. I could bitch, However, Im around a bunch of criminals.

At some point one has to leave the meetings. Its to heartbreaking, and its an outrage to a decent person to go through the kind of humiliation Ive discussed above.

They never tell the truth.. If they like you, you may see it. They will hide it for the rest of there lives if you don't go out with them, they will bury it unless they bring it out.

Ive seen girls that loved me and had no idea they were emoting it, or how they look when they are talking. They think they are hiding there feelings. When this same girl finds a new boy friend, and Im out, they treat me with no status or less status, as if Im a fool. I notice the scorn and contempt. At that point those feelings of love are buried.. They act as if they never knew me or liked me, nothing. I am treated cold heartedly with no remorse.

These people have no remorse, Nothing!... This is very important as you can be psychologically slashed to death if things go wrong.. The strongest survive.

At some point after learning what one needs to learn, they leave and go upward to the society above.
Meaning main society...

The key is to understand that I made a beginning mistake that got me into the trouble. I did not know who I was starting to like...

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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