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https://www.psychforums.com/blog/OMNICELL/going_down_gods_pathway_b-15420_sid-8d81c03f8fa25cf764c0b8311b07c7f4.html |
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| Author: | OMNICELL [ Thu Nov 14, 2024 4:50 pm ] |
| Blog Subject: | Going Down Gods Pathway |
Blog; Things are changing… . Figured out that past individuals of interest are basically people I was jealous of… I was angry at because I was jealous of and didn’t have what they had and they wouldn't give me anything of what they had because I was of no interest; I was not part of their families… I was a stranger so I was outside the box… And I was sore and devastated about it. . I angry because they had safety I didn’t have; they had mother/father I didn’t have; they had a house that was manageable or safe or workable; a place they could develop at or within; I did not have such things; They had support I had no one… I guess I wanted them to save me or give me a chance. But they didn’t. Why should they; I was not a relative; and they never came to me; I was a complete stranger. I would have said hi and moved in. I mean; thats what really would have happened. I was not really interested in being their friends; I wanted what they had; that was my goal… I didn’t care who they were.. It meant nothing to me… zero…. . . I was desperate and needed help… and so I was reaching out to those I thought had things; I mean; like safety and a people who cared about them… . But it never worked; God did not sanctify such situations… . I realized after doing many 4th steps on these people; That they owed me nothing; I was never suppose to meet them in the first place… . I realize now after working with God; that its possible that God can now take me where Im at and kind of mold me into the kind of person that I can learn how to do some thing for myself under Gods care to get the things I want… . I mean; that natural state of development that people go through when young; I never went through it; it was pulled from me long before…. . The point is; I was suppose to go down a God pathway and work with God and let God manifest and bring the right people and places and things working under God. I was not suppose to go side quest things because I didn’t trust or work with God. Im suppose to learn how to do that; Work with God first; Its the horse before the cart… . . MUSIC; . Im very interested in memorization of things; This is a monumental change. And it appears to be consistent. Meaning; Im all in on it; it seems. No resistance yet. Im going very slow. It may take a year to memorize something but Im Oke with that… I have no problems with it it seems; we will see; Ill take it a day at a time. If I have to take 1000 days to memorize something or see change; Fine; No problems! So-be-it…. . So; This is tremendous… Its an awareness of coming back into the world of commitment ability. I cant say it any better; faith and purpose. And its all under Gods sovereign state. . So; I know have much more faith about these type of things. I mean; I believe first and then things happen; thats kind of whats happening here… . Theirs much more depth to this then Im leading on about. What does it take to be a Nuclear engineer… or scientist or composer. Or anything else of great intellectual work within a school system; Well; IT takes dedication; it takes memorization. If Im willing to memorize until Ive got everything down. Thats a sign of thoroughness… And completeness. And with that attitude I cant loose. Meaning; these are the conservative values That Im aligning with that are showing up in my spiritus personalititus… . So; Here are 2 things somewhat solved… . 1. I have to right to move forward with my higher power concerning relationships ( maybe God is ready to let me move forward); However; Ive done greater more complete work lately.. So; we will see. . 2. Ive moved into become willing to be responsible to learn something with a thorough fashion of completeness… . Those are 2 big areas of change.. . All under God; Down Gods pathway; Amen. . . |
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