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OMNICELL
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Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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- October 2019
Im still to young
   Fri Oct 18, 2019 4:36 pm
Age doesn't matter; PTSD does
   Sat Oct 12, 2019 11:17 pm
A fear of getting laid; a horrible fear
   Thu Oct 10, 2019 6:44 pm
She thought I was crazy; and she wasn't alone
   Wed Oct 09, 2019 5:00 am
Signs of handling reality
   Mon Oct 07, 2019 9:20 am

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Getting stronger by the month

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Fri Oct 26, 2012 1:09 am

Every-time I go to my therapist: Once a month, its as if ive lived a life time of new and rewarding information... I keep getting better, I keep getting stronger...

The PTSD Symptoms; those paths of over flowing traumas, are at times filled with other things.. Paths or PTSD nodes are being filled with past information, however, not of negative things, of everyday things that My alters would have experienced. I might relive watching Gilligan island on TV or star trek when it originally came out on Friday nights... That was 1967 for me. I might see my bike out on the side of Palouse st just laying there on Friday night... I might see myself at my best friends house sleeping over.. Its still very hard as these things trigger the forefront of an enormous storm that will kill my life, and almost kill me with permanence.

I see sleek quit open streams of consciousness from the other alters.. ITs very interesting when the mind calms down.. I relive 5 things at the same time from different time periods, all layered on top of each other.. Very interesting... PTSD is not always this quiet tho.... it takes about 50% of my brain on a constant basis these days... Thats better then the nightmare PTSD of the past.

SOCIAL:

Things are getting better, Im stronger... However, I have mass problems with confrontation... I have to learn to back away or get out of the situation as fast as possible.

Women: Im getting closer... Creeping up on the safety to talk to others.. Im scared, really scared that Im not accepted by others, Im afraid of what will happen if I try to get to close to others...Im afraid they will not accept me... I have to be strong enough and brave enough to approach people... This is getting better. Im starting at scratch from the beginning... Its important to have men on your side if things don't work out... men you can talk to...


People are cruel, manipulative and dangerous to my mental health....

I can not go back to my original family system.. God has let me know that no reason exists for such a trek... That family system and its subsidiaries are dead....

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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