Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (919)
Archives
- June 2019
Trying to write a blog; keeps getting knocked off
   Tue Jun 25, 2019 5:35 pm
Lonely and still here
   Tue Jun 25, 2019 11:32 am
going to meetings; Yuk
   Tue Jun 25, 2019 3:55 am
social is coming back; but its slow and about thinking
   Tue Jun 25, 2019 2:00 am
intimacy 3
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 11:26 am
1966 and 50 years later; or 50 years to late?
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 4:29 am
Coping with what has happened to me in this life
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 1:43 am
Visualizations
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 9:27 pm
Talents and development
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 12:39 pm
Money and women
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 12:19 pm
women and shame
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 5:53 am
Music creating; blocked
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 1:46 am
Im getting very close
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 1:25 am
Its hard when you were never loved.
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 5:29 pm
Things are changing
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 6:08 am
Cant finish anything I start; cant get started
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 3:36 am
Social isolation; social uphill climb
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 2:25 am
Feeling better inside
   Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:28 pm
Money
   Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:38 am
An interest in the arts
   Tue Jun 18, 2019 9:39 am
Social
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:32 pm
intimacy 2
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 4:02 pm
intimacy
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:51 am
Identity overwhelmed
   Sun Jun 16, 2019 10:22 am
re changing the present
   Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:45 pm
Working out of it; the struggle continues
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 4:14 pm
A new segment of life
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:07 am
dealing with life from zero to 18
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 8:13 pm
Connecting to things in the real world
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:53 am
Things are changing
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 4:43 am
I have to believe more
   Sat Jun 08, 2019 10:24 pm
liking myself and dating
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 8:46 pm
Dissociation
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 4:58 pm
Love
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:05 pm
Purpose
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 7:27 pm
Happiness
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:04 am
bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 8:03 pm
Bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 5:57 am
Childhood reconnection;
   Sat Jun 01, 2019 4:26 pm

+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

Getting stronger!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Fri Jan 02, 2015 5:21 pm

Getting stronger, but still learning how to deal with people that cross! me! Im not at that place yet! Im still being ###$ with!
.

Not everyone is on my side! Some are jealous, don't want me to succeed!~
.

I am slowly getting stronger, getting better! Keep working at it! most of the recovery is coming from the meetings and my writings! and my sharing! Getting more honest about everything! more honest about who I am!
.

Ive had a problem telling women who I am! If they are in meetings and down n out; they understand my story! If they are not down n out; middle class bitch! ~ then its a different story! they may not be interested in me or looking for someone like me!
.

What Im finding; Ive been brutalized and destroyed! but it looks like with the long run recovery Ive had, Im getting better, and Im pulling out of this maze! Im very lucky! thats all I can say! Im getting stronger!
.

I have specific goals to work on! There not career goals, but interest goals!
.

One area that is fleeting is a music room to practice in! I have to talk to God! I like making songs and singing to them! but I have no place to practice; this makes no sense to me why God gave me interest and talents if I can find some place to practice!
.

I love to sing; but you have to have a place to practice singing! this is crazy! or , such a passion for it, that you infest others with your passion and they want to help!
.

Art is important; I must keep art going! working on it everyday!
.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On the state of dealing with people;
.

Im around the wrong people! its better then being alone! but I am under appreciated! Im in obscurity! certainly Im not the first to be in this situation!
.

In the past Ive been in real trouble, and reach out to friends! I found out I had no friends! they did not know me!
.
I would have died! they still shut there doors in my face! Friendship meant nothing to them! I meant nothing to them; they were never my friends! and that shocks me! its horrible! It is anti God! its horrible! Its more then anti God; its anti human! in decent!
.

Im around allot of indecent people these days! Im not sure what to do about it! run? I don't know!
.

I have to trust God!
.

Im not accepted or taken for what Im worth! I never have been, and Ive never understood this! The people around me hated me with contempt! but why! I never lied to anyone! They made there judgments and stuck to those judgments! but they had no business judging in the first place! There judgments are wrong!
.

Its just a matter of time that I can be myself around others! and not care anymore!
.

I didn't do anything wrong! But I know who judgmental people are! They don't understand!
.
Last edited by Remember Ronni on Fri Jan 02, 2015 5:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
2 Comments Viewed 10006 times
Comments

Re: Getting stronger!

Permanent Linkby LilyG on Sat Jan 03, 2015 6:37 pm

God Bless you I hope you have a way to practice the art of singing and music as soon as possible. Creative people need art like a diabetic needs insulin it is a must.
LilyG
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Jan 15, 2014 1:48 am
Blog: View Blog (12)

Re: Getting stronger!

Permanent Linkby celticcracker on Tue Jan 06, 2015 12:58 pm

I'm not saying this out of spite, but out of raising awareness. I had an addiction counsellor once who thought I was a middle class bitch, when he had no right to make that judgement. That severely jeopardised my recovery, because according to him my suffering was not worth his humanity or effort, but since I was not in a position to expect respect anyway, I recovered anyway, by means other than that judgmental asshole. In the end of the day, we're all just human, so the way I deal with people who cross me is first by reminding myself of their humanity, then by telling them how it is, then by cutting them out of my life. These self-righteous pricks are more toxic $#%^ I don't need. Now that I'm sober and have my humanity back, I deserve respect and I deserve to be with my equals from whatever background they happen to be. I've created my own standards for what decency is, since this ###$ world hasn't come up with any that actually concern humanity.
Forging an iron signature...
celticcracker
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 29
Joined: Sun Jan 04, 2015 10:05 pm
Blog: View Blog (5)

Who is online

Registered users: Bing [Bot], birdsong87, dhammapal, Dnester, Exabot [Bot], Feel76, Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, Heka, justonemoreperson, mikesmith1222, relief94, Tyler, Wally58, xdude