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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1021)
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- October 2019
Im still to young
   Fri Oct 18, 2019 4:36 pm
Age doesn't matter; PTSD does
   Sat Oct 12, 2019 11:17 pm
A fear of getting laid; a horrible fear
   Thu Oct 10, 2019 6:44 pm
She thought I was crazy; and she wasn't alone
   Wed Oct 09, 2019 5:00 am
Signs of handling reality
   Mon Oct 07, 2019 9:20 am

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Getting closer to the goal

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Sep 11, 2017 6:39 pm

I have a specific level of trust Im trying to build back into my world! Here is an example! imagine you weaned to be an artist and create pictures; art, paintings! You dont feel safe anywhere in the real world, in the present, in your own space! no way!
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Ive been working for a long time to heal that I feel safe in my own space from the horror and voices in my head as well as the bullies out in the world in front of me or who I think could be in front to me! Either way; I was jammed back down into self; dissociative!
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Now, as I heal, I know what it looks like, what Im interested in! I know that Im getting better when I can say; " Im going to create art, Im in the present, no more past controlling, I stills see the past if I want to, but Im focusing on something better these days"! I can see myself going something out in front of me because Im more present and feeling safe; that is the goal! Im getting closer!
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I have a bridge to cross, a gap to pull in closer until it is shut! The more experience I gain and confidence and positive good feelings about myself and the world around me and outside of me; the closer this gap comes to closing; one inch at a time!
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We will see; most of the recovery work is working with source energy; a higher power! Im facing up to source energy, facing God not turning from God! The better this relationship gets; the better off I am!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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