Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1052
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1751)
Archives
- March 2024
A gift from God #2
   Sat Mar 16, 2024 9:21 pm
The Gift from God…
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 5:29 pm
2 goals; elements of accomplishment
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 1:41 pm
Work Ethic is Needed Please
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 4:46 am
Some Solutions; Lot of Hope
   Thu Mar 07, 2024 5:39 am

+ February 2024
+ January 2024
+ December 2023
+ November 2023
+ October 2023
+ September 2023
+ August 2023
+ July 2023
+ June 2023
+ May 2023
+ April 2023
+ March 2023
+ February 2023
+ January 2023
+ December 2022
+ November 2022
+ October 2022
+ September 2022
+ August 2022
+ July 2022
+ June 2022
+ May 2022
+ April 2022
+ March 2022
+ February 2022
+ January 2022
+ December 2021
+ November 2021
+ October 2021
+ September 2021
+ August 2021
+ July 2021
+ June 2021
+ May 2021
+ April 2021
+ March 2021
+ February 2021
+ January 2021
+ December 2020
+ November 2020
+ October 2020
+ September 2020
+ August 2020
+ July 2020
+ June 2020
+ May 2020
+ April 2020
+ March 2020
+ February 2020
+ January 2020
+ December 2019
+ November 2019
+ October 2019
+ September 2019
+ August 2019
+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

Getting closer

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Aug 25, 2013 7:43 pm

I am dissociative and very weak with a solid foundation behind me! The holes in my mind may never heal! I may be dissociative for the remainder of my life; Im not sure. I know that the next level of my journey is about people. Im learning slowly to let go of people. I people please because of loneliness. I have allowed others to walk on me that I feel something, anything from anyone! I was not loved in this life by anyone! It makes relationships hard! I have a solid foundation behind me, at some point I regain my voice and become independent again, or the practicing of such things. To be independent means to react and respond and to walk away if I have to; not putting up with sycophant manipulative weirdo's. Im on the journey to learn and practice to keep these creepo's at bay! Im attempting to learn to stand up for myself! Its "O" so very hard! Im disabled in this area,. I dissociate long before Im near someone, so dealing with them one on one through interaction is very hard.

I must pray and forgive all things... I understand the animal kingdom I live in; or, Im attempting to have the courage to understand it on a daily basis! God will bring me the inheritance I deserve, I do not need to depend on man for anything.. I need to stay away from him...

Im inching up to more solid; being more solid! knowing myself! Memories are returning to me! I have many memories that are trapped; I cannot see them, they hold my identity!, In the mean time; I have built with Gods help, new identity anchors..

Identifiables:
I am a dedicated mountain biker, including bike clothing and several different bikes. I am an artist type and I practice different forms of art on a daily basis. I have a deep relationship with God that is very rich! and needs to get richer! I must trust God, more and more! I stay lean and in shape through weight lifting that I continue to ride the trails; all working in unison for my betterment; mountain biking, art, weight lifting!/ 12 step groups

Finally, after years of work, Im finally awake enough to have a washing plan for my mountain bike clothing! this was a disaster with dissociative disorder! I could not think strait enough, to understand that I could wash and dry my own clothing without going to a laundry mat. Now I know better, and Im grateful I know! I have put this system into practice and will be ready to buy more clothing, knowing I can take care of them!

I have to keep my home dwelling clean: this is my next big issue! I started working on it 6 months ago! My defenses will not let me participate.

Relationships: IVe been given phone numbers, This means, Ive been able to approach people, talk with them, go out with them or have coffee with them at some point! As soon as I get the cloth washing stuff down and the dwelling clean, then I will lose 1o pounds, get new clothing, and start attracting and get some dates... Im very close to doing this. My problem was relationship fear. I am able to attract women; there are millions of lonely codependent women out there!, trillions of them! Billions!

Being touched; being touched with dissociative disorder is a very difficult thing! its very uncomfortable. This is another reason I have not dated. Rape reappears as PTSD problems when people get to close to me! proximity triggers the Dissociative condition and PTSD. I am looking forward when Im a little bit better in this area!

So, I have to have God on the fore-front of all things as I go down my journey.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 15553 times

Who is online

Registered users: Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Feedfetcher