My social ability is moving beyond my pain! I mean this literally! Im literally bridging the fire river of pain and walking across it! Its still scary, so I run back to the beginning of where I started on the bridge! Im getting use to being on the bridge, looking down at the vast molten lava red hot; As I look across this firmware of psychological warfare, I am safely on the bridge, yet, lava is still scorching my legs; like a serpent; finding its way up my body! Im not out of the ice age yet! Im practicing; practicing on that bridge! Im learning to dance on that bridge! Im learning to take chances on that bridge until I know Im safely above the lava and it is safely below me! This will take time! This is a journey of persistence! and I am like a new creature of social abilities! Im slowly learning through experience and chance taking. Im learning how to walk again! Im learning how to trust again! Im learning how to take social chances again; from the beginning! one step at a time! However, Im on the steps! Im walking through those steps, one leg at a time!
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Kindness to others cannot happen if Im not kind! its as simple as this! My goals suggest I must become a charming person again; the intelligent social talented college graduate that I used to be or always wanted to be! A a child I had it in me and developing; I had these goals as a child; but all support was taken away from me! in fact; all life support was taken! I had to chase it down to get a crumbs given to me; and I was destroyed from this; then thrown way again!
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Today, I am starting a new life! Im moving from the past to the present with dreams of the future! Its no easy task; not at all; one must be persistence through all kinds of psychological weather changes!
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My goal is a change of focus onto an intelligent life; not the broken one I came from; Im earning every inch of it!