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OMNICELL
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Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1019)
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A fear of getting laid; a horrible fear
   Thu Oct 10, 2019 6:44 pm
She thought I was crazy; and she wasn't alone
   Wed Oct 09, 2019 5:00 am
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   Mon Oct 07, 2019 9:20 am

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First thought wrong

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Jun 26, 2014 5:58 pm

I hate the statement " First thought wrong>

Women; I have to be strong enough, brave enough to bust through.

Lots of problems in the opening or specifically the approach. Im scared, or they see me coming and make themselves strong! No opening... I have to be smarter. Why are they playing games. Possibly these are not the type of people Im interested in, but good practice; and I must remember this. Its about practice.

Women are about practice!

Its to bad I have no one on my side; I don't. I have these blog sites and thats it>

Im getting a bit stronger..

Im getting rid of my payee! Its time...

I got some money and didn't report it to housing. So, I just reported it to housing. Hope things work out!

Im in the right place at the right time for the work and help I need. Its about opening up. Its about PTSD. Its about remembering who I am and where I came from. Its about holding my own.

Its about trusting God, and preying! Its about trusting God! Its about working with God, and being on my knees enough to work with God. Keep God working in my life. Im scared of God, the Dissociative areas of self don't trust God or anyone else!

Im scared enough; If I close my eyes I will be attacked.

I lost everything when I was young! Not one person stood with me or on my side! I was thrown away from all areas; murdered. Im not sure what to think. Im slowly coming back!@ thats what counts.

And I am coming back! Im slowly looking at all that was hidden; who do I bring it out again! Its possible.
One gets to the point of understanding that the past is not present, and no one is around to cause harm. I am safe from the past; this Im learning! slowly, cautiously.

I have all of my internal self shoved down my throat. Slowly, Im going to let some of it out!

Its so humiliating.. I feel so dirty and of no worth in the world or to the world. I feel a bug or insect has more worth or has been treated better.

The innocent and decent are destroyed in this place! Destroyed in the infernal.

Lots of PTSD work ahead! things must be different then before!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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