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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1036
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1152)
Archives
- January 2021
Im being blocked by this damn trauma bond
   Thu Jan 28, 2021 4:36 am
My mother blocked me from loving anyone
   Thu Jan 28, 2021 12:24 am
Breaking point of dissociation
   Tue Jan 26, 2021 7:23 pm
Fear problems with women
   Tue Jan 26, 2021 4:41 pm
Feeling an uneasy fear thats been growing.
   Tue Jan 26, 2021 7:11 am
Several things.
   Mon Jan 25, 2021 10:36 pm
Brothers in arms
   Mon Jan 25, 2021 7:32 pm
The social; or new social begins
   Fri Jan 22, 2021 11:41 pm
I cant be friends with women
   Fri Jan 22, 2021 9:51 am
friendships... Is that what women wanted?
   Fri Jan 22, 2021 1:30 am
Problems with women I guess? My problems ?
   Thu Jan 21, 2021 10:44 pm
Stuff about sex; and not allowing sex
   Thu Jan 21, 2021 8:48 pm
Connecting the 2 halves
   Thu Jan 21, 2021 6:00 am
Now Im starting to get it
   Thu Jan 21, 2021 3:35 am
I could not compete because of my avoidant behavior
   Tue Jan 19, 2021 4:48 am
keep working at it
   Mon Jan 18, 2021 4:17 am
Wake up! Trying to become present
   Sun Jan 17, 2021 7:48 am
Planning life as an AVPD
   Sat Jan 16, 2021 7:24 am
Another break through
   Fri Jan 15, 2021 4:51 am
bulling and apologizing
   Thu Jan 14, 2021 9:17 pm
My work; to get up close in my imagination
   Thu Jan 14, 2021 7:17 am
Get right with God; God is saying
   Thu Jan 14, 2021 1:02 am
The message about the sociopath
   Sat Jan 09, 2021 2:24 pm
Moving forward
   Sat Jan 09, 2021 4:53 am
Beginning to move forward
   Fri Jan 08, 2021 5:11 pm
Im alone again; things are changing.
   Thu Jan 07, 2021 10:17 am

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Feeling of social insecurity

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Jan 14, 2019 4:27 am

I hate the feeling of insecurity; I have no one; so I have to work at being around others with no home base or family! I came from falsehood; a fabricated family system; a false system create by psychopaths to exploit children; all fake. I was used then thrown away; after the process of being thrown away; I went through the equivalent of foster system; horrible/sad/derangement/death/disfigurement.
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So here I am alone; and confused. In order to have relationships, Im suppose to let my guard down. Im working on it.
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Im looking at the outside world as something to socially conquer; meaning, I re learn how to sell myself; I mean re learn pro level sales techniques and work at it. really work at it; The goal is; no one has power over me and I dont care what others think of me! And I learn how to open up and not be shy or nervous around other people. I loose my anxiety around others; thats the goal; thats a big gaol.
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The problem is all the thoughts and feelings and CPTSD running through my head and body.
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The anxiety; and the loss of direction; ive always felt so directionless; after I was thrown away as a chid. OR I should say; I never belonged to anything as a child in the first place. I was born an orphan and didnt know it; but they did; the psychopaths.
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The point is; Im now having to learn how to negotiate the outside world. I had to do this before several times with no success; it will be different this time; Im not forced in the houses of these psychopaths here I cant win and Im destroyed and thrown away or thrown out.
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I have allot of work ahead of me; the goal it so find or be around the right people. To let go of the hold old pTSD has on me.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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