Feeling good about myself around women; and their it is! that is the goal; that is the problem; I feel shame and dirty and discussing and less them and no good and not good enough; because thats what was taught me during the developmental time of my life; I got traumatically disordered by filth I had to live with; un believable!
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This altered my ability to later work or make money or have a life; This causes more shame and guilt! by the time Im out around others; Im a closed off box robot not wanting anything to do with anyone; Not only traumatized by living with these people that helped cause this; Im ashamed because I was not good enough to come from a regular family; I was thrown away! This adds create embarrassment and shame!