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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (962)
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- July 2019
The beginning of chosen reality
   Tue Jul 23, 2019 9:41 pm
Star trek
   Tue Jul 23, 2019 6:04 am
Writing new stories and meeting new people
   Mon Jul 22, 2019 9:25 pm
Can I love a women
   Mon Jul 22, 2019 3:44 pm
Never being loved
   Mon Jul 22, 2019 1:12 pm
High School
   Mon Jul 22, 2019 3:54 am
Things continue to change
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 10:53 pm
the strange world of getting better did
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 4:36 pm
This is not going to be easy.
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 10:47 am
Identity 101; so; it officinally begins; the rebuilding
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 2:25 am
Something positive is happening
   Sat Jul 20, 2019 11:54 pm
The Beatles
   Sat Jul 20, 2019 6:04 am
A place exists
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 11:21 pm
Things are changing again
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:41 pm
Things are heating up; Im now backing down
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 9:06 am
I have CPTSD
   Wed Jul 17, 2019 4:47 pm
Real changes are occurring
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:46 am
Coming back into the present
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:32 am
Im extremely frustrated
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:14 pm
Fining myself or facing myself
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:39 pm
Im beginning to understand
   Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:30 pm
Visualizing
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:28 pm
Starting from the beginning
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:35 pm
The trap house part 2
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:13 pm
The trap house; I only knew about; In the end I win
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:15 am
Massive Mega paradigm shift
   Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:01 pm
First post recovery conversation
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:55 pm
Dating and Art
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:44 pm
movement
   Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:56 pm
childhood abandonment
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:23 pm
Being single
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:53 am
Preview: PTSD; High School
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:31 pm
Fear
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:34 pm
Ive found some answers
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:41 pm
D.I.D; let me introduce myself
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:23 pm
PTSD; dealing with triggers.
   Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:32 am
Making me into a loser; its all about the critical voice
   Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:08 pm
Molding sound like clay; having reasons; Things are changing
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:25 pm
critical voice
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:38 am
Toxic shame
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 11:05 pm
Ive found some answers
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

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feeling a bit depressed

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Fri Nov 07, 2014 1:49 am

More memories are returning. Im working towards rebelling against my parents! The small child in me is attempting to gain enough love and attention from the present to rebel against my parents from the past! Im attempting to grow up as if I was in a family system that is helping me grow! I am growing from the village, as the village is helping me develop! and its working! its taken a long time! but its worth it!

Getting closer!

Im getting closer to being present and dealing with my feeling locked in from the past! Im horrified by what happened to me! but Im learning as I take chances and practice, that the people in the present are not the people from the past! today, when I think Im having problems with people; I call them back, they call me back! and I keep my friendships! but its hard work so far! Im taking chances with people to be honorable! its not easy!

I call them back and tell them Im there friend and to call me! they end up calling me back! so the damage is repaired! nothing needs to be said, they called back, thats what counts!

Im slowly allowing people in!

At some point my sanity will return! sanity meaning; that thing you all on this site wish for! Heres the deal, Im beyond damaged!

ITs taken 35 years to open up again! I remember the last few years as my original self, and the other years as someone else, and I don't remember those years! everything is reversing! and Im becoming me again!

My mind was crunched! so was my nervous system! so, it remains! Im very weak in the mind! it has been torched and murder'd, and yet, Im awake now! and slowly heading toward interactions of a deeper sort!

I have a God, and Im lucky to be alive, and it has been like being in a Syrian war that I have escaped

Im now in a state of rehab; thats the best way I can describe this! Im very messed up, Im alone, as far as anyone from the past! there is no more past! I\

I have much friends from 12 step groups and other counseling things!

Im looking forward to being more present normal acting! It will take time.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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