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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1033
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (915)
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- June 2019
intimacy 3
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 11:26 am
1966 and 50 years later; or 50 years to late?
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 4:29 am
Coping with what has happened to me in this life
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 1:43 am
Visualizations
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 9:27 pm
Talents and development
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 12:39 pm
Money and women
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 12:19 pm
women and shame
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 5:53 am
Music creating; blocked
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 1:46 am
Im getting very close
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 1:25 am
Its hard when you were never loved.
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 5:29 pm
Things are changing
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 6:08 am
Cant finish anything I start; cant get started
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 3:36 am
Social isolation; social uphill climb
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 2:25 am
Feeling better inside
   Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:28 pm
Money
   Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:38 am
An interest in the arts
   Tue Jun 18, 2019 9:39 am
Social
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:32 pm
intimacy 2
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 4:02 pm
intimacy
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:51 am
Identity overwhelmed
   Sun Jun 16, 2019 10:22 am
re changing the present
   Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:45 pm
Working out of it; the struggle continues
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 4:14 pm
A new segment of life
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:07 am
dealing with life from zero to 18
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 8:13 pm
Connecting to things in the real world
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:53 am
Things are changing
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 4:43 am
I have to believe more
   Sat Jun 08, 2019 10:24 pm
liking myself and dating
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 8:46 pm
Dissociation
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 4:58 pm
Love
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:05 pm
Purpose
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 7:27 pm
Happiness
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:04 am
bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 8:03 pm
Bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 5:57 am
Childhood reconnection;
   Sat Jun 01, 2019 4:26 pm

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Fears going back to childhood; problems with women

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Oct 08, 2018 12:47 pm

So; their are problems with women; general fears stemming from my childhood! This sound like a women hating situation! its not quit; its a general fear of everything problem! Women have little to do with it; if anything! In fact; they are the most neutral of situations! The main problem is; I want women; thats why Im always bringing it up! Ive gotten as far as phone numbers; but the children in me stop me! I get blocked! And Im trying to take over my own system and un block it!
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The child in me does not want to see his mother! For she as of a satanic origin and unsafe! And so I try to stay away! When I see women; I see satan; they are unsafe manipulators! They have no conscious; no decrement for right or wrong; Seem to have no interest in reasoning skills; nothing! unsafe!
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I do not feel safe around people! So; how am I going to bring women into my life!
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Actually, I do bring women into my life; but their the wrong women! thats the problem! Im not around the right ones!
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I can laid any time I want! The problem is; I dont want to get laid by women Im not emotionally interested in; meaning! I will fall to pieces because the women will be done with sex and Ill be all alone! The way to solve this; have a girlfriend!
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Im interested in an Asian soulmate; nothing else; So; Im working with the universe on this! I have blocks to getting close to people; and yet, I tell you I want an Asian-soulmate!
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So; the fear is real; real of rejection or getting hurt; However, I have the friendly universe on my side to bring me what I visualize!
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ITs hard to visualize something right now; I have to work through blocks that I can complete visualization align with my inner being; this is the most Strenuous of situations these days; of the day!
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I have to learn to follow through on my visualizations until I am aligned with my inner being; I dont get to stop the process and dissociate; that is the problem! The outcome is not important; the process is important; their lies a bottleneck in the process and I have to fix it; and Im working on facing the fear of getting close to this bottleneck that I fix it!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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