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OMNICELL
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Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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- October 2019
Im still to young
   Fri Oct 18, 2019 4:36 pm
Age doesn't matter; PTSD does
   Sat Oct 12, 2019 11:17 pm
A fear of getting laid; a horrible fear
   Thu Oct 10, 2019 6:44 pm
She thought I was crazy; and she wasn't alone
   Wed Oct 09, 2019 5:00 am
Signs of handling reality
   Mon Oct 07, 2019 9:20 am

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Fears going back to childhood; problems with women

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Oct 08, 2018 12:47 pm

So; their are problems with women; general fears stemming from my childhood! This sound like a women hating situation! its not quit; its a general fear of everything problem! Women have little to do with it; if anything! In fact; they are the most neutral of situations! The main problem is; I want women; thats why Im always bringing it up! Ive gotten as far as phone numbers; but the children in me stop me! I get blocked! And Im trying to take over my own system and un block it!
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The child in me does not want to see his mother! For she as of a satanic origin and unsafe! And so I try to stay away! When I see women; I see satan; they are unsafe manipulators! They have no conscious; no decrement for right or wrong; Seem to have no interest in reasoning skills; nothing! unsafe!
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I do not feel safe around people! So; how am I going to bring women into my life!
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Actually, I do bring women into my life; but their the wrong women! thats the problem! Im not around the right ones!
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I can laid any time I want! The problem is; I dont want to get laid by women Im not emotionally interested in; meaning! I will fall to pieces because the women will be done with sex and Ill be all alone! The way to solve this; have a girlfriend!
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Im interested in an Asian soulmate; nothing else; So; Im working with the universe on this! I have blocks to getting close to people; and yet, I tell you I want an Asian-soulmate!
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So; the fear is real; real of rejection or getting hurt; However, I have the friendly universe on my side to bring me what I visualize!
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ITs hard to visualize something right now; I have to work through blocks that I can complete visualization align with my inner being; this is the most Strenuous of situations these days; of the day!
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I have to learn to follow through on my visualizations until I am aligned with my inner being; I dont get to stop the process and dissociate; that is the problem! The outcome is not important; the process is important; their lies a bottleneck in the process and I have to fix it; and Im working on facing the fear of getting close to this bottleneck that I fix it!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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